Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Why do some mom's judge their son's mate without getting to know her first

i don't understand what the problem is considering the fact that she introduced me and my boyfriend in the first place, i never done anything to disrespect her, her nephew, or her family, i even babysat her daughter for her without question; but she doesn't like me and told my boyfriend that plenty of times its ridiculous...what to do i don't want to come between my boyfriend and his family

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on May. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I know how you feel. I am the scourage of the Earth, if you listen to my DF's Mom. I never did a thing to her or anyone else in the family either. I really think it's an issue of you filling a spot that she used to hold. Every son loves their Mom. Another woman in their life takes away from that.
    sneakyboo

    Answer by sneakyboo at 3:54 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Sneakyboo hit my feelings as a mom of a ds exactly. I DIDN'T like either of my ds g/f at first. I still get a little upset if they come over and I ask if they want to stay for dinner and she says no im cooking........:) I should be thankful she feeds him huh? :)

    Its just a momma thing. Keep being yourself and if they don't like it...OH WELL....
    brypmom

    Answer by brypmom at 5:18 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I disagree re: it's a momma thing. It is the result of an unhealthy dynamic in a family. Mothers who emotionally enmesh their sons are doing everyone a disservice. Unfortunately, this is usually a legacy pattern & begins in childhood. I have a 35 yr old son who is married and lives in Canada now & I am also the daughter-in-law of a woman who banned me from her house for the 4 yrs I dated her son & who disliked & insulted me my entire marriage. I am glad for my son's happiness. He deserves his own life to live, free of the burden of guilt & drama of me not liking his wife. I decided to honor his life by not criticizing his choices in women. I was so thankful that he broke up with some but still, he never knew my opinion. I have three unmarried daughters too & I hope that they will want to welcome me into their homes and lives to share the joy of grandchildren & living life. Dump the guy, fast!
    flightless

    Answer by flightless at 6:06 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Some mother's feel that no woman will be good for their son. It's been going on since the bginning of time. What it really is, is that they know that there son has someone else to take there place and they feel jealous.
    Sherribowdenjr

    Answer by Sherribowdenjr at 6:22 PM on May. 3, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN