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How can I surround myself with more supportive people? My friends suck!

I am the first person to support all of my friends. I am there when anyone needs me, I am the planner of birthdays, I am the keeper of plans, I am the one everyone can count on to be there, be on time, at the drop of a hat. But I don't have even ONE friend that would ever do that for me.

I need to have a social cleansing or something. It is in my nature to be there for the people I love, I can't stop that. But I can't stand being completed disregarded when it comes time for me to need some support. I have always had friends like this, so I've learned never to ask anyone for anything other than my husband. But this is super tough! I started a new Brown Bag business and I just need to have some parties. It costs them NOTHING and they will actually get free products and they still just give me the run around. They refuse to host a party, come to a party, or even respond to an email about a party. I am not asking them to buy anything, just help me get my start...SUPPORT ME!!! Maybe I just gravitate towards shitty people...I don't know.

Answer Question
 
Jeannie721

Asked by Jeannie721 at 3:54 PM on May. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Level 11 (553 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • That stinks!! Are the people in your business supportive? can you make friends with those people? the people in my business are SUPER supportive and some of my best friends!!! I will be glad to be a sounding board for you!! email me at kbressan@msn.com or friend me on here and we can chat
    mkdirector2011

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 4:02 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • You sound like a caring person and one who will do for others until they use you up. I have felt like that in the past and realized one day that it has to stop. Maybe your new business will give you the opportunity to meet new, kinder caring people. It's a lot harder to break up with a friend then a mate. Good Luck!
    sneakyboo

    Answer by sneakyboo at 4:10 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • You must take care of yourself first! That means with family AND friends. I know how you're feeling exactly but I have forced myself not to "jump" when a friend calls or needs something. I really do think it is almost like being in a "relationship" with some girlfriends. Although you are not romantically involved you cant give them the impression that they are always first in your mind. I hate to say it but there is only 1 friend that truly is there for me the way I am for her. I don't know why, I think its just that there are few people who would really jump for another. Hang in there and pay close attention to which friends are super supportive and in exactly what way. Good luck.
    anewmom3811

    Answer by anewmom3811 at 4:22 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Thanks guys! My new business partners are amazing. I actually have 2 new businesses, one with Melaleuca and one with Brown Bag. These ladies are so wonderful! But it has just made me see how NOT amazing my friends are that I've known for years and years. Also, my business partners don't live nearby, so that sort of stinks. I get to meet one for a party we are throwing together in a couple of weeks. But again, we are relying on my crappy friends to attend this party and I am afraid it will be a complete waste of her time. I am so disappointed in my judge of character lately too. Thanks for the help!!!
    Jeannie721

    Comment by Jeannie721 (original poster) at 4:40 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • You make a choice when you decide to be there for your friends. Now you are realizing that they set stricter limits & boundaries than you & maybe your friendships are not two-way streets. Don't do a drastic cleansing since it will cause you emotional upheaval. Just observe & distance yourself from friends who don't respond when you need them. That said, I understand some of their trepidation. It would be better if your friends liked your product but if they don't, you should not take it personally. I think it is better to keep friends in a "friend" category and business contacts in a separate one. Friends do not have to share your business ambitions & when you ask them to participate, it often changes the dynamics of the relationship - you've gone to their parties, now you expect them to come to yours & spend some $$, yet you could have set limits & said no to them also. Did you really want all those candles & makeup?
    flightless

    Answer by flightless at 5:55 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Get rid of all negative people in your life . They will only pull you down . How can two walk together unless they agree.
    Sherribowdenjr

    Answer by Sherribowdenjr at 6:17 PM on May. 3, 2011

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