Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My stepdaughter hates me what can i do?

Answer Question
 
angelbrian

Asked by angelbrian at 3:59 PM on May. 3, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • more info?
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 4:00 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Your not her step mom. Your the new wife..... and nothing. She wants her mom. SORRY
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • She will either like you or she won't. You can't make her do anything. The best you can hope for is that she sees her dad happy with you and eventually gets it that it isn't about her- it's about her dad being with someone he loves. And if she loves her dad then she will make things work on her own.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 4:01 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Why does she hate you? Are you trying to be her mom right away? Alot of new spouses make that mistake and kids are not going to blindly accept you as a parent figure just because you got married to one of their parents. You need to try and be her friend and explain you are not there to replace her mom, but just as another adult to be on her side and be there for her.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 4:04 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • The way i see it as your the adult and she is the child.She needs to accept the fact that her dad is happy. maybe sit down and have a heart to heart with her..
    ashes27165

    Answer by ashes27165 at 5:30 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Many times a child sees a new spouse as the end of a secret fantasy (or sometimes not so secret) that their parents will get back together. Don't push it, and don't try to parent her. Just be there for her. If time doesn't help things out, then you may want to look into family counselling.
    other_mother

    Answer by other_mother at 10:05 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • You've got some good responses already :-) For my two cents, your step daughter doesn't hate YOU personally. Don't give her behavior any power over you by interpreting it personally. She's just a kid, confused and hurting. I've raised two daughters, one who went through an eating disorder and the other who was betrayed by someone close to her. Please get counseling right away - NOW - before her feelings are solidified by the passage of time and her peers. And make sure it is family counseling, not focused around her behavior. Counseling shows that her dad is serious about you being his spouse and that he expects his daughter to accept you as FAMILY. And if you have never been a step-mother before, counseling will help YOU know what to expect and how to navigate the mine fields. You will be more confident and not as easily hurt when you understand how common the problems are that you are going through.  God bless!

    FromTheBackSide

    Answer by FromTheBackSide at 2:19 PM on Apr. 28, 2012

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN