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Did wrong.

My SO of 6 years and I broke up 3 months ago because I cheated. I figured he would never come back so I kept seeing the guy I cheated on him with. Well I am not going to lie but I was having sex with my ex but not the new guy. We would just hang out. So Saturday I tried talking to my ex well finally we were getting along. We did our thing and he left. He didn't tell me where he was going or if he was going to call me or not. I was going out and all he told me was not to go home with anyone. So I went out with the new guy that night and he brought me home. Well at two in the morning my ex was pounding on the door and screaming in here saying you whore and saying I am going to get him. He finally got in and went after the new guy until the cops got here. My ex got arrested. I am so confused on how I should feel. I went and got a protection order on him and I don't want it anymore cause I don't feel that my children and I are in danger. But the judge denied the motion to dismiss the case. So now I have to go to court. I did not want my ex to get arrested but he did because he pused me. I am so confused and feel so alone. The new guy keeps talking to me but I don't know if I should keep talking to him. I know you all probably think I am crazy and that I shouldn't have been seeing both of them. I know I did wrong and I don't know how to change things. I am under so much stress. Should I keep talking to the new guy? What would you do if you were in my situation?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on May. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Who do you love?

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 4:26 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • If the new guy hasn't done you wrong yet I guess there's not reason to stop seeing him as long as you are 100% OFFICIALLY done with the ex...

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:26 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • You need to decide what you want. If you don't want your husband, then you need to let him go and make a break, but you can't continue to sleep with him AND and see other people. If you want your husband back, then you guys need to go to counseling, and you should stop hanging out with other guys.

    The only thing that is going to help at this point, is for you to make a decision and stick with it.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 4:28 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I love my ex. It's like I can't get over him. But I don't know if he will ever want me back now. I am so confused. I have never been through so much. I know I did wrong when I cheated. I really did go wrong. I have this feeling that I can't move on until I can forgive myself. I feel so disgusted with myself. I really do.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:28 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • If you love your ex, then you need to apologize, and stop talking to the other guys. That is the only thing that might help open the door to you and your ex reuniting.

    As long as you are spending time with and talking to other guys, you are closing the door on your husband. And every time you sleep with your husband, you are hurting him again.

    Are you ready to decide?

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 4:31 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I am ready to decide but now there is a protection order that I can't drop until I go to court cause the judge denied my motion to drop the protection order. Until then I can't have contact with him. I need to know how I can tell this new guy that I shouldn't see him anymore. I just didn't know what the new guy wanted or what my ex wanted. The new guy hasn't taken me anywhere except to the bar. I think I should have seen this earlier! I have alot of changes to make. All the things that my ex has put me through and I still want him. I really do.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:36 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • If you love your ex, you should stop seeing the other guy and take time to yourself to think and get your thoughts straight.

    Answer by kyuteangl88 at 4:41 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • You just need to be honest with the new guy. He knows there is an issue. If you really want your ec back, you should be able to say

    "I have decided that I need to fight for my marriage, so I have to cut things off with you. "

    He deserved honesty about your intentions, as well.

    Good Luck.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 5:04 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • There is a reason for your confusion and behavior. Reading your post made me wonder why you would leave your husband's bed one day and get into bed with another man the next. You may be equating (subconsciously) sex with approval & acceptance from males to fill a void inside you. Usually insecurity, the desire to please people, a void inside you from childhood etc. are responsible for poor choices particularly about men. Unless you see to yourself and try to figure out why you are behaving in this manner, you may repeat the pattern. I suggest that you see a counselor and delve into why you make these choices. You are fixated on making a choice to either get your ex back or start up with the new guy when I think your focus should be on you and understanding yourself and your needs. I would leave everything as it is - don't get together with any guy right now just live your life and get some counseling.

    Answer by flightless at 5:22 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • There's a reason why you broke up with your ex. Just reflect on what those reasons were and you'll know what you should do. I believe an ex is a ex for a reason.

    Answer by Sherribowdenjr at 6:14 PM on May. 3, 2011

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