Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

It's been 9 months that me and my ex are separated....

I'm contemplating to see someone, the only thing is that we are totally different and in some way I feel an attraction toward him. I had told myself that I wouldn't get involved for at least 1 yr. This guy is single father of 3yr old little boy. He just recently attained custody of his son due to his mother getting locked up. I just recently found out from a friend that he has been locked up. We went out once and he seemed like a guy who is trying to redeem himself for his son. But in all honestly he is seems like he is very pushy. I try to distance my self from him because I see myself being drawn into a situation that I am going to regret. His son had been in child services for 2 yrs. It seems that he needs a lot of love and nurturing and this guy has implied to me that he would like for to help him with his son. I am so tempted to but I have 2 daughters that I have to think of. Please tell me what is the best way to handle this???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:39 PM on May. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Ugh, sounds like too much baggage and like he wants someone to do his dirty work for him.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 7:40 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • i would try and just be his friend. how old are your girls? could there be play dates? or just kids haveing a chance to play together. could be good for the lil boy. its a hard question i wish i had more info for u. what was he locked up for? something bad or just him being dumb? cause thats what my issue would be. people make mistakes and learn but it depends. i would let him know u just want friendship. best of luck mama.

    Answer by tabbys4 at 7:44 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • He may seem like a person who is trying to better himself and needs some help in going in the right direction with it, but you can still do this as his friend.
    As the friendship progresses along with better changes in his life, than see if its something you want to pursue further.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:44 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I would feel for his son, but no child spends 2 years in child services if he was a decent father himself. It sounds like WAY more drama and suspicious activity than I would be willing to take on with two children of my own. In my opinion, you would be inviting negativity and risk into your life and your kids' lives without need. I would want to find someone without all that drama, that had a much more stable life conducive to raising children than what he is exhibiting.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 8:15 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • sorry but that last comment is so wrong , my sister in law is a CPS worker and yes they can spend that long in child services. be his friend. Be there for your girl. do what you feel is right.

    Answer by ashes27165 at 10:14 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • After coming out of a relationship and other personal problems that I going through I really don't need the added "drama". I do believe he wants to change for his son and that he wants a family. I just became friends on FB and he he is a heavy drinker. He curses a lot such a turn off. Like I said I try to distanced myself from him but I find myself drawn to him. I am definitely just going to keep it friends I am not prepared to even start anything but a part of me wants to.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:27 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I am not saying they can't spend that long in child services...I'm saying they don't keep kids away from DECENT parents who are doing what needs done for their kids to start with for 2 years.

    I'm not a CPS worker, but I am a foster mom, and I know, at least in Michigan, they really focus on reunification and getting the bio parents the help they need to get their kids back. Here, one year is the point where they start seriously considering finding a "forever home" for children whose parents are not making progress on the steps the court has set up with them to get their kids back.

    For him to not have his child for 2 years, screams to me that it is not someone I would want to involve myself and my children with.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:29 PM on May. 3, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.