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Ladies, any insight on this?

I have a guy friend who crossed the line by kissing me, then saying he was getting over his breakup and he didn't feel any attachment to me, but wanted us to continue talking and wanted to fix any awkwardness (if any) so we could still talk/hang out. Everything was legit after talking about it and hadn't text/communicated as much as we had been. (During our talk he said in the beginning we talked a lot as if we were dating), but if I hadn't contacted him all day, he texts me and says something like "you've been quiet today" and my reply was "well i didn't want you freaking out because we talk too much" and he said "oh lol no". He dates/talks to other females, I just think "why does it matter if I text/reply or not?" If you're talking to/seeing other people, do you feel rejected/or bothered in any way if someone doesn't speak to you on a regular basis?

There was also a few texts exchanged that went something like this:

Me: I got sunburn as well over the weekend
Him: Oh no! I've got some aloe I can rub on ya haha
Me: Well that's not going to happen at the moment. You know the deal
(meaning we've talked about how I dont' get physical unless it really serious)
Him: I was pickin..what the hell do you mean, at the moment?
Me: I know you were picking
Him: you didnt answer my questions about at the moment
Me: it wasnt literal, why the attitude?
Him: attitude?
Me: Yes, you said "what the hell..."
Him: oh, that's just the country way of askin lol

umm....ok?.....any advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on May. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • if u r not interested in him this way then let it be known.... dont go back and forth with the flirtation w/him. IF u want to "try" a date w/ him.. tell him. ( but keep u'r pants up-he is still talking and seeing other girls)

    Answer by kkbird at 8:38 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I think that maybe he thinks that if he sticks around that you will want to date him. I have been in the same shoes. He was my best friend and i had to stop talking to him( which killed me) because it was hard on him because i didn't like him like he liked me. The tension just got so unfortable. He would say stuff like that too. I had to put a stop to it.

    Answer by ladyb155 at 8:39 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • oops uncomfortable*

    Answer by ladyb155 at 8:40 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I haven't flirted with him in any way. He knows I'm not sleeping with him or anything along the physical lines. We've gone out to dinner and movies, as friends. That's what the post kiss conversation was about and what's up there stating he doesn't have any attachment further than feelings. My main thing is, if we're supposed to be friends, why does he come off like that about textx/talking, etc..

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:42 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • its like all guys they think that if a girl is really close friends with them, in secret they like them its bs why can't wehave guy friends without them thinking bs like that. they start talking likethere interested in us but when we shoot them down they turn it around on us like were the ones taking it the wrong way

    Answer by flaka500 at 8:58 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • He sounds just like my ex!! His name wouldn't happen to be Cameron would it? My ex talked like this to every female he knew. I had told him dozens of times that he was sending them the wrong message. Your confusion that has led you to ask about this question is proof that I was right....Or.....maybe I was wrong....Maybe he was sending them exactly the message he was wanting to send them. We are currently going through our divorce now because he decided he wanted to run off to New York so he could move in with one of his female "friends" when I was 6 weeks prego with our second child. My advise, whether he admits to it or not, some part of him, big or small, is wanting a relationship with you. If you want a relationship with him, keep talking/texting. If not then end it. Or continue talking/texting but make sure you make your desires, or lack there of, very clear.


    Answer by Motherdragon at 9:03 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Some guys always hope to get something from girls they are friends with. If you are strictly friends then he shouldn't be saying flirty things to you, like how he'll rub aloe on you. I would put some distance between the two of you if I were in your shoes. If you guys are just friends then he shouldn't be "pickin." Do you have feelings for him or want more than friendship with him?

    Answer by MaryMW at 9:17 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I could develop feelings for him.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:20 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • That right there, you could develop feelings for him, he knows that. Look, I fully believe that men and women cannot be friends without one of them sooner or later wanting more. Someone will disagree, and that's fine. But given this kiss between the two of you, and the awkwardness now, there already ARE feelings. And I think it's on both of your parts.
    It's time for another talk. Ya'll either need to give a relationship a shot, or end the friendship on good terms.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:05 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • If the two of you were talking/texting a lot before the kiss and now you've had much less contact he is probably worried that you still feel awkward about it and is worried about losing your friendship. During your talk did either of you mention the possibility of your friendship becoming more? If not than he may really be simply worried about losing the friendship given the change in your usual amount of contact. I have quite a bit of male friends; they know I'm happily married and so are they - and there are two male friends I am particularly close with, who I talk or text at least several times a day and we see each other several times a week but I know if they suddenly limited are usual routine or amount of contact I'd be worried just like they would be worried about me too.

    Answer by anon1986East at 11:32 PM on May. 3, 2011

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