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22 Bumps

About my DD's sexual abuse case... adult content

Just a brief background- a couple weeks ago my husband and I had reason to believe that my MIL was touching my DD. She came home with irritated, red private parts and said that Grandma "" likes to itch her privates parts and then wash her hands. Well, DD is almost 5 and doesn't need help wiping or anything. Her behavior then began showing signs of some kind of trauma; not sleeping, peeing & pooping her pants, asking her sister (who is almost 2) to check her private parts, etc.

So, we called her DR and they referred us to CPS, and a child advocacy center. After our interview with CPS they also had suspicions, so they brought DD in for a forensic interview. DD told them everything, and more. However, she followed it up with "but that was all just a bad dream." SO the prosecuting attorney said he has no proof and nothing to build a case on. But the detective wasn't convinced, so she brought MIL in for questioning.

long story short, MIL agreed to a polygraph. I am so beyond confused right now, and I feel like I may have made an AWFUL mistake. Everyone keeps saying to trust my gut. I do not have a good feeling about this, meaning I truly believe something happened. I just don't know what to do from here....

has anyone been through this before??

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on May. 3, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (40)
  • No, but if your kid said it happened, it happened. And it sounds like she is definitely experiencing trauma. I hope it goes ok. Keep us posted.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 9:30 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • If it can never be prooven. I still would never let the MIL be alone with my child ever again. Just in case.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:34 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Even if you SUSPECT "gramma" was inappropriate towards your daughter, keep them separated. Your daughter is young enough to not make this up unless coached. She is also young enough to be convinced that she's wrong.

    I was molested from 12 to 14. When I finally said something I was yelled at and blamed for almost all of it. All my father did was stand to one side and nod his head like a bobble head while the man's wife (like a mom to me) verbally flayed me alive. Everyone now pretends that nothing ever happened.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 9:35 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I've never experienced that with my children. When is MIL's poly? It's one thing to agree to a polygraph and another thing to actually show up and take it, so continue to trust your gut. Thanks for the update; many of us have been thinking about you and your daughter and what your family is going thru. Let us know. Good Luck to you

    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:35 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Well........you have to protect your daughter at all costs. It will be a shame if this is a mistake, but you did what you had to do. My extended family is kind of going threw the same type of thing. There is no real proof but accusations have been made. CPS involved etc. It has torn our family apart. I also understand .As a parent you must protect your children. I would do the same thing in a heart beat. I just hope that the parties involved will beable to get past this some day. You may have to come to terms that your family may never be the same, but your daughter will always know that you believed her and protected her. That is the most important thing!
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 9:36 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Is is possible that your MIL told her to say it was a bad dream or just simply told her it was a bad dream. Maybe that is why she said that. I couldn't imagine being in your shoes. Follow your gut feeling on this and don't let it go until you get your answers. Good luck to you!
    amber1330

    Answer by amber1330 at 9:37 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • Oh how scary, I'm so sorry that ur DD and u and ur family r going through something so awful. I will keep u all in my prayers, GL.
    PANZONSMOM

    Answer by PANZONSMOM at 9:37 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • She is protecting her grandmother when a person is victimized they curry favor and protect the person hurting them is this possible here? If she told you it happened omething happened trust your gut for real. The first time they get caught if she has been doing it for this long and she is just getting caught trust me they know how to get away with it.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:37 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • i'd always believe my child, even if you are for some reason wrong, which doesn't seem to be the case, rather be safe than sorry
    momma_amanda77

    Answer by momma_amanda77 at 9:38 PM on May. 3, 2011

  • I am going through this RIGHT NOW with my 3 year old, although its not SEXUAL abuse, its regular abuse, please private message me!
    CollegeMommy121

    Answer by CollegeMommy121 at 9:38 PM on May. 3, 2011

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