Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

I actually let a CM post get to me {sigh}

An anon poster confessed today that she felt nervous and uncomfortable around blacks, that "all black women were loud and rude" and that "all black men seem like they will screw anything that walks" I usually let the things that people say on here slide off my back but for some reason this has really hurt my feelings...I've taken it personally I guess.

Being a black woman, married to a black man and raising black children...in 2011...I guess I was stupid enough to believe that all that racist crap was behind us...lol...silly of me to think that I guess...it's just that I have been lucky enough to never experience racism up close and personal...it was always something that I seen on TV or heard about on the news and I guess the fact that, yes, we are STILL being judged on the color of our skin instead of the content of our character is alarming to me! I wasnt able to choose my skin color when I was born...why is that a crime??? What I WAS able to do was make sure that I was a good person, but apparently thats just not good enough.

I live in a very small, mostly white town in Northern California and me and my family are one the VERY few black families that live here...and to tell you the truth I've never even given it a second thought. I love my town, it's an awesome place to raise my children and I have no intention of ever moving...but now I wonder...are me and my family making people uncomfortable just by our very presence??? Is someone watching us just waiting for me to get all loud and ghetto and for my husband to step out on me with the first woman who shows him any attention???

WHEN are we going to get away from these horrible sterotypes and stop seeing each other as colors and start seeing each other as people? as mothers? as brothers and sister and husbands and fathers???? I am so sad right now I could cry! How long am I going to be judged because I had the "misfortune" to be born black?????

Vent over

**I put this in Relationships because it's not about the CM post as much as it's about people and our veiws of each other**

Answer Question
 
Lucky209

Asked by Lucky209 at 2:42 AM on May. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 28 (35,060 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • It's not a "misfortune" to be born black--it's a misfortune to be born "ignorant."

    Hugs.
    GoodyBrook

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 2:46 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • that is a good question. i am not blackbut i do know how it feels just to be judge by my skin color, or how i look, or by the way i talk or dress ect. you should not even worry about bc you know who you are, and if you are not what they say you are then why even worry about it. my grandma is racis and i barley talk to her bc that is not even right. if you like your naiborhood then stay there fuck the racis people. they say that beating gays up is against the law, then why not rasictum. i cant even spell. lol
    dement

    Answer by dement at 3:11 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Living in Europe I can say that there is a LOT of racism here and it doesn't focus solely on color.It even revolves around religion,social background,dress codes, parenting methods and in view of the worlwide economic crisis-money.Your sadness is understandable because you feel strongly about this but you should be proud you're raising your children to be good people and that you love the place you live in. Being an optimist I say to myself that people will like you for who you are and not because of a snap judgement given the time to get to know you better.If not, then it's certainly their loss. So many bigotted people were raised that way so it's important to teach our children that in being "different" we're actually the "same".
    MyrMar

    Answer by MyrMar at 3:59 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Ah. Hugs. People suck sometimes. Also, something happened to that person to stunt their heart. So pity is in order because they will never be the person you are. My neighborhood is a middle class rainbow. No one is afraid of anyone.
    lilangilyn

    Answer by lilangilyn at 6:43 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • People stereotype people. Blondes, women, Irish, Polish, Italian, Hispanics, Blacks, city dwellers, country dwellers, farmers, lawyers and accountants are just a few groups that have stereotypes against them. Is it right that this happens? Heck, no. But it seems to make some people happy to be able to do this.
    I hope you feel better and realize that this person was just having a rude moment.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:49 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • dont let that person get to you there just being dumb and mostlikely what they were raised around or she hasnt meet any other black people besides one or two i have a few black people in my family and there nothing like that my uncle carlos is the sweetest kindest guy you can meet hes not rude in any way unless you mess or hurt his family than he can get rude but who wouldnt and the person that post that is just wrong theres plenty of white people that are just like how she explained black people but every race has people like that
    DONT LET THAT PERSON GET TO YOU SHE WAS WRONG TO SAY THAT ABOUT ONE RACE EVERY RACE HAS SOME PEOPLE LIKE THAT.......HUGS
    myangelelena

    Answer by myangelelena at 7:09 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Please dont let that person get to you. You sound like an amazing person, and someone who has the BALLS to say crap like that about other people need a good smack upside the head. It was probably posted just to get a rise out of someone, which worked.

    Hang in there chicky!
    MommaRoxanne

    Answer by MommaRoxanne at 7:45 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • I have seen racism so much. I'm Catholic but I was raised in a Jewish house hold & a lot of people would say rude things about Jews all the time. I always defended my family. My stepdad, sisters & brother are Jewish & I felt that if you were going to be that rude then the hell with you. I had a boyfriend tell me he hated Jews and that is grandmother taught him to hate them. I broke up w/him because of that but my stepdad incouraged me to date him and try to change his mind. I'm not siding w/the person who said that they are uncomfortable around black people because of the way they act but that being said she should also feel the same around white trash who act rude and loud. It isn't all black people who act like that. There are all types of people who act rude and loud & that pisses me off that people act that way. I'm sorry you are feeling the way you feel. I hope it doesn't make you think differently of all white people.
    Mom1127-0125

    Answer by Mom1127-0125 at 8:47 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • On a serious not, I live in one of those small little towns that have very few blacks in it. You're right, in areas like this people are not really racist, however the few you there are you will never meet. I grew up without any problems, and I was disgusted with people and their "n" word using once I moved off to college. Yea, i'm white.. So, I am going to say that they are only stereo-typing what they personally know. For example, I only know 1 blk guy that doesn't sleep around in that manner, it's WHO they are, NOT what they are! I know plenty more white sluts than black!!! So happy that your first experience was online and not live in person, but here is hoping you don't have to go through it in person!
    kbishop8688

    Answer by kbishop8688 at 9:18 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • I dont know why it is that way but I get crap on my street for being white....lol ( we live in military housing and it is full of ALL races) so I am not the only oneby ny means, but some people are just rude and inconciderate!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 9:19 AM on May. 4, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN