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What is the right thing to do for my kids.................

My husband of 9 years and I are in an extreme family feud with my parents. My kids are really close with them, mostly my dad and my daughter. He lives just for her, and she would rather go see him rather than Disneyland, you know what I mean? Things got really crappy. A very very long story short, things got physical, police were called, and we were honestly in the right. My husband was falsely arrested, let out with no charges, Our kids witnessing everything. several weeks later my dad files a restraining order good for a year in family court. Meanwhile I have had the baby I was 36 weeks prego with when we all went to court, weve moved away still in the same town, and my daughter and son havent seen, or talked to either of my parents since.
So ladies the question is this............Should I continue to keep my kids from any contact with them if what my parents did was tottaly looney toon and disfuntional. My kids miss them a whole lot, they don't say it much but I know when they are thinking about them. It makes me so sad to see my kids missing them. but I feel strongly about being loyal to my husband and hes done with them and dosen't want them around the kids at all. I really don't want it to be this way but I feel I kinda don't have a choice. What would be the right thing to do? Our decision, will it affect the people they'll become, or the kids that they are? Will they hate us for it? Thanks for your time. :o)
signed,
what do I do!!!



Answer Question
 
mamafoofoo26

Asked by mamafoofoo26 at 4:50 AM on May. 4, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I think you should ask the kids, keep open communication in how they're feeling. Do you know, if your parents want to see them? Sorry, but they filed the restraining order.
    Maybe have the kids sent a card in the mail & see what responce you get. If its good then continue and if they stick to the court order and start more trouble, you'll know.
    Do your kids see your husbands parents? It maybe or have to be just you and the kids that visit your parents. As your husband may not be the one not wellecomed to their home. Are you ready or willing to do that?
    I do, got into a mess with my parents nothing with the law being called, etc.. but its hard on everyone. We've made a mends for the most part, but it'll never be the same. Good luck
    SassySue123

    Answer by SassySue123 at 5:00 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • If you feel like your parents could inflict physical harm, I don't think your children should be anywhere near them. I also think that causing a rift between you and your husband will damage the kids far more than a lacking relationship with dysfunctional grandparents.
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 6:12 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • I would explain to the kids why you dont want them seeing their grandparents. If they are too young, they'll get it when their older.
    xmama_bellax

    Answer by xmama_bellax at 6:18 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • I think you'll know what is best for your kids/family. If its better for the kids not to go they will realize it maybe not soon enough to be ideal but they will realize it. If you know you/husband are in the right than maybe its good to keep your distance and see what happens.
    Genice6

    Answer by Genice6 at 8:59 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • You need to judge as a family whether it is in the children's best interest to see their grandparents. Since we don't know the details about the situation that passed, it's hard to get solid advice from us. But if you think that your parents actions could harm your children or even if there's the slightest bit of potential, then you need to keep the kids away from them. But if it's just an argument that got ugly and you know in your heart that they would never harm your kids, you need to talk about it for the kids sake.

    My dad was in a serious depression when I had my oldest and I wouldn't let her be alone with him. I was so worried that he might do something to himself or to her. Thankfully he got help for his depression and he has more than proven that he loves my kids more than anything, so I don't worry anymore.

    But you also have to back up your husband, so this needs to be a family decision.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 9:18 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • I wouldn't, if they filed a restraining order, you could get in trouble for even contacting them. They should have thought of that before filing
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 9:23 AM on May. 4, 2011

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