Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

DH wont hear me.

My DH fights so very hard to tell me that the way I feel is inappropriate, too much, annoying, etc. even if I try to agree with him and say that maybe I am too sensitive but I still feel "worried or concerned",he just uses it to further tell me I shouldnt feel how I do. I cant seem to get throu to him. I dont know what to do. I feel so lost.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:32 AM on May. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I think the way I handled it would friend on the subject matter.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 7:34 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • You are entititled to what ever feelings you have, even if they are inappropriate to the situation. Nobody should be telling you what to feel or when to feel it. This is emotional bullying. Your feelings are what they are. He knew that when he married you.
    Saya

    Answer by Saya at 7:38 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • You need to get a little stronger and stand up for yourself and tell him, NO YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS INAPPROPRIATE!!!!!!

    You need to have some sensitivity and respect for my fillings.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 7:41 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Hm..your communication styles are very different. Women express themselves through feeling alot of the time. I know I do. My dh tries to solve things for me but I stop him and say "I just want you to listen. That is all. I'm not asking you to argue or solve it for me. I just wanted to say it is all." Took awhile but he gets it.. most of the time!
    Autumn07

    Answer by Autumn07 at 7:41 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Do not let him tell you how you feel. It is a control issue on his part. Tell him "I will feel tha way I want to feel".
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:27 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • It's not just a male/female dynamic. My mother has said that to me to deflect the pain she's caused me. If he's caused the pain it's a way of blameshifting. If it's from the outside it's his way of not dealing with it. Denial. What's helped me is talking about it to normal people and comprehending I have been in an emotionally abusive situation, that my mom really didn't do what was right, to sort of get my bearings on it and realize my feeling are reasonable. Finally to ignore her assesment and plow on. When I'm up for I try to analyze why she acted the way she had, but it really doesn't change the outcome. She's in a nursing home and I'm her POA. We visit her every week and get the things done she needs to have. We love her and do our best by her, realizing unless something major happens she'll never acknowlege her wrongs. Would counseling help you two? Do you have any really good friends to talk to?
    oddfox

    Answer by oddfox at 8:40 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • You can't control how you feel. Just tell him that you just want him to listen.
    HomeAlone45

    Answer by HomeAlone45 at 12:08 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • Counseling -
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 3:08 PM on May. 4, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN