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2 Bumps

Would you allow a mental health day after a break up like this?

DD's bf of 5 months just broke up with her last night and she cried for an hour loudly, then on and off until she fell asleep. I gave her lots of hugs and said take on day at a time. She did talk to a friend and got lots of supportive texts from her girlfriends during this time. She was upset because he said he still loves her and she, him, but he said it's too stressful a time right now, and he wants to focus on school, which is perhaps not the truth. We think he is upset because he foresees the summer as not being the sweeping romance he thinks it should be. She is in the process of getting her license and a job, and is a merit scholar, who will be busy volunteering if she doesn't find a job. His Mom also said to me that if he couldn't see her more than every other week, he wasn't going to want to date her....!!?? And she wanted her over their house as much as he was over here...50/50!!?? She has 2 boys and very different rules there, questionable supervision. We encouraged visits here, and double dates, we drove.
Anyway, she is devastated that he doesn't want to date her anymore, but he still wants to take her to the prom...which I cannot imagine will happen, but she already has the dress, shoes and jewelry...and her best friend has her very first date ever for this dance. She wouldn't get up for school today and I can imagine the horrible feeling of having to pretend they are friends, or even seeing him at school. She has had boyfriends all throughout high school., now a junior. Thoughts?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:37 AM on May. 4, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (40)
  • No, I would not allow a mental health day. My son just went through a similar thing and it wasn't even an option.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:39 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • I am not there yet, mine are still little but my first thought was no. It isn't going to be any easier tomorrow so better to jump right in with both feet.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:42 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • I say let her have the day off. As for his mother - wtf? 50/50? Maybe he is sincere but I would give him space and see just how often he does try to see her. Wouldn't he be surprised if she were too pissed off at him to go to prom?
    ThatBoysMom

    Answer by ThatBoysMom at 7:42 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Actually sounds like your DD and bf are very mature for their ages :) Good job momma! But definitely ok in my book to let her stay home today :) She will be a complete wreck at school and probably call you to come get her anyhow. Poor girl, what an awful time for her, but I would def let her stay home in pj's, ice cream and loud music, if that's what she's into of course:) good luck with this.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 7:43 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Kids need to learn to deal with the pressures of life not hide from them. JMO

    darter

    Answer by darter at 7:43 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Allow it. It's only one day. I went to school after a bad breakup and all I did was cry. If I had the day off I probably would have cried at home in bed and then would have been better the following day. My mom told me to stay home but I wouldn't listen. It's only one day it isn't the end of the world if she misses one day. It would be better than if she skipped school cause you know she will be home safe and not out doing something stupid.
    Mom1127-0125

    Answer by Mom1127-0125 at 7:44 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Also and just b/c she's 15 doesn't make her break up any less hurtful than an adult woman...it hurts the same.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 7:44 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Its not a good idea, you gotta teach her that she has to suck it up because life wont always give her a day like that. Tell her to keep her head high and dont show him that it bothers her.
    xmama_bellax

    Answer by xmama_bellax at 7:50 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Only you know your child so you know if she needs this or not. Is she mentally too weak to handle the stress of a break up? If so then sure let her stay home. My dd was 15 with her first major break up. They were going to college together had plans for this and that and broke up. I made her to go school and she actually wanted to because her friends were there for her. The fact is if she plans to date then she is going to have to be emotionally and physically available to that boyfriend. If she has too much on her plate then I would suggest telling her to give up boys for awhile, so this doesnt happen again. I have boys and can understand both your point of view and the other moms.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:07 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Breaking up with a boyfriend does not get you a day off from school in my house. "suck it up" and go to school.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:21 AM on May. 4, 2011

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