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My mother is a shop a holic. She cannot go in a store without buying something for my daughter and my niece...

Problem is she is single and may be losing her job soon. I have told her in the past that she doesn't need to buy our daughter so much due to this fact. She said in other words that I am ungrateful! She clearly makes bad decisions based on money. She also doesn't have much of a retirement fund in place. How do I handle the ridiculous spending?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:55 AM on May. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • You dont. It is her money and if she wants to spend it then she is going to whether you agree with it or not.

    Answer by gemgem at 7:58 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • She wont listen to reason. It her buy.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:59 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • The problem is that in the future when she has no money who is the burden going to fall on? Me. I can't afford to support her.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:00 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • meant "Let"

    Answer by louise2 at 8:00 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • You need to tell her then. Who are you going to live with when you loose your job?

    Answer by louise2 at 8:02 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • You can't...she has to get it in her mind that she is not the responsible mother anymore...that is what i s going on with her...for so long that was likely her mentallity...If she was not able to do it for you as a child she may be exercising a good feeling that she wished she had had when you were a kid. It is hard to me have been going through this myself. At first it was difficult for me to go into a store and NOT think of what I could buy for my family....I would have stuff in my cart and then i would put it back before Ileft the store(s). As I started to spend on myself, a good feeling started to set it. I still have to fight the urge, but trust me I am getting better at it will your mom...ask her if this is what is going might be surprised at the answer you get.

    Answer by redcow1952 at 8:02 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Well my inlaws dont have much in terms of savings either, neither did my aunt, nor did my grandmother. We took my grandmother in because it was the right thing to do. She tried living on her own awhile in an apartment for the elderly, but when she got older and sicker we took her in. Even if she had tons of savings ultimately when she is up in age you will either put her in a home or bring her to stay with you. Money really becomes a moot point by then.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:03 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Wouldn't it be nice if we could just worry about today...this society makes us worry about tomorrow and some of us will never make it until tomorrow...go is hard to get anything rightin this world

    Answer by redcow1952 at 8:04 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Louise go bark up a tree! I don't work now I am a sahm and I have investemnt property. Hhaha! My future is set.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:10 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Do you think she would go to a therapist for help? Or maybe you could read up on compulsive shopping and figure out a way to help her in the same way a therapist would. Sometimes, when your close to a situation and emotional about it, it's hard to get a good perspective about it. If this was you BFF and her mom, what advice would you offer her?

    There are probably medications out there that could help if she were do go to a doctor about this.


    Answer by JSD24 at 8:11 AM on May. 4, 2011

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