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What do you think?

My husband used to work night shift.. so he would sleep until like 1 then get up and go to the gym at 130 and not be finished until it was time for him to go to work. I had mentioned a few times that I dont care if he goes to the gym but I would like him to either cut back the amount of time he went or cut it down to a few days a week. so maybe like an hour and a half at the gym everyday or go like 3 hours or more but only 3 days a week. well he quit going completely and said it was because of me. well I have a 5 month old and i still weigh what i did when i was 9 months pregnant... and a friend of mine has a 3 month old and asked me to start doing zumba with her every other day at the gym up the street. 2 of the days are at night.. but they only last an hour and we had talked about walking a mile or two the off days of zumba.. so an hour everyday.. and then some days we will go during the day when my husband is at work. He is saying I am such a hypocrite because I said something about him going all the time.. which when I said something I clearly said I dont care if you go everyday but does it have to be 4-5 hours everyday and during the only time we get to see you??? am I wrong??

Answer Question
 
Ross2010

Asked by Ross2010 at 10:30 AM on May. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • No you are not wrong at all. You also deserve time to do something that you enjoy doing especially if it will benefit you.
    Mommi2four2011

    Answer by Mommi2four2011 at 10:32 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • NO... he didn't have to quit completely. I understand your point of view, he was cutting into family time!
    cailynsmommy626

    Answer by cailynsmommy626 at 10:34 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • I think your husband is being a whine baby. What you asked wasn't unreasonable. You didn't say stop going to the gym, you just said you wanted more time with him. I would make sure you aren't going to the gym-walking with your friends MORE than what you want your husband to work out. Or maybe you and hubby can have a couple of days to work out together?
    CollinsMommy729

    Answer by CollinsMommy729 at 10:34 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • You're not wrong. Doing something an hour a day is not excessive. Doing it 3 1/2 hours a day seems a bit much. You didn't ask him to stop going to the gym, you asked him to cut back on the amount of time he spends at the gym. The fact that he completely cut it out was his choice and not what you requested. He's like the kid who takes his ball and goes home in a fit of anger, and then gets mad that the other kids keep playing without him. I don't think you should feel guilty for wanting time to work out yourself and get back into shape. He should be able to find a happy middle ground, too. Invite him to do Zumba with you. :)
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 10:37 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • You are right and your husband sounds like a little immature kid. My 15y/o would have understood everything happening and wouldn't have whined.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:44 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • everyone deserves "me time" and he was being excessive and now he's going from one extreme to another he needs to grow up and share in the responsibilities of a parent in the house hold he's not and over grown teenage He's a DAD and he needs to act like it!!!! he chose not to compromise not you.

    traren

    Answer by traren at 10:47 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • The thing is with going to the gym or exercising is that in time the new wears off & as a given rule everyone has a tendency to slack off in their own good time. You may need to apologize to him & explain to him that you didnt understand how important it was to him & you didnt mean it to be selfish. Even though you & we know that is NOT what you meant by it at all, but that maybe what it will take to get you back in his good graces, him back in the gym and you off to exercise class. He will slow down on his own, just wait him out. But that way he will also be supportive of you when you want to go. A lotta give and a little take...
    lacyjones

    Answer by lacyjones at 11:03 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • I'd be thinking he was into some other extra-curricular activity other than the gym ...
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 3:03 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • Sounds like a compromise is in order...you should be able to walk and get in shape like you want and he should be able to do that as well, with out totally neglecting his family. Just make sure your intentions are heard. Lots of times communication can be confused. Maybe if he knows why you wanted him to cut down, it may shed some light and open his mind back up.
    readytogetgoing

    Answer by readytogetgoing at 3:06 PM on May. 4, 2011

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