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3 Bumps

Not well at sharing!

My husband is the only one who has a MONEY paying job. I am a sahm of 2 small babies (3 yrs and 5 months) and a full time student (online and 2 days at the school) well He always complains about buying us stuff.. but has no problem paying 400 bucks for a ps3 and a game for it... knowing i have money from school coming my way.. well i was going to use this money to buy the dresses i need (4 weddings I am in at the end of the year) and my little girl a swing set.. but since he bought the ps3 he doesnt have the money for the car payments and short on insurance... REALLY?? so he wants me to pay them and i know i wont get the money back to buy my dresses or the swing set.. and he doesnt want to buy the dresses etc... i know he pays the other bills but he agreed to paying them all when I went to school and so i could stay home with the babies.. but he's gotten to the point where its HIS money because he works for it and if we need anything extra its like pulling teeth to get it.. and the wants just dont happen for us.. just him..

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Ross2010

Asked by Ross2010 at 11:37 AM on May. 4, 2011 in Money & Work

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • If I were you I would not ask for permission and just do what you need to do if you know the money is there, maybe next time he will think about buying his toys. Whatever money you have coming belongs to the both of you even if he is the one bringing it.
    older

    Answer by older at 11:40 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Yep, that happens allot. The person who pays the bills makes the rules. Tell him you are a family and from now on the money will be spent on....and then list your needs and priorities. If he doesn't agree you need to start making a life for you and your children without him. He is a uncaring selfish immature childish boy..and you and your children deserve so much better than him.

    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 11:41 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • That would not fly in my home. My husband works to bring the money in and I work raising our children. The money belongs to both of us, not just him. When you marry someone you do not only marry the person, but the life of two as one. I personally could not stay with someone who is so selfish as your husband is. I think your family would fair well with some counseling both marital and financial.
    2and2onway

    Answer by 2and2onway at 11:41 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • Take the game back to the store! Honestly, my husband and I both have an "allowance",, you need to say that you would like to help with doing the bills,, he is a MARRIED man, that has children to support, as for 4 weddings, that is a huge bill for anyone to undertake, when I got married I PAID for my bridesmaids to have dresses,,,
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:44 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • The school money you have coming is is for school related expenses... you are going to have to pay it back, so spend it wisely!! You are going to graduated loaded down in student loans... don't spend all the money if you can help it!!!

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 11:51 AM on May. 4, 2011

  • This is my "moma speach" ok so be warned .... 1st for both of you...The bills MUST be paid above and before anything else regardless if you have the money or not. Then the swing set, as the baby's needs/wants come before ya'lls. Then the extra should be saved but since you have things you want & cant seem to be able to live without then the money should be split and you decide each what you want to do with it. If you dont have enough to meet what it is that your wanting, have a garage sale or something else to make up the difference...but the bills should be paid 1st regardless! Otherwise you will be borrowing money from someone that shouldNOT have to bear the burdens of your immaturity with money and responsibility. My opinion...
    lacyjones

    Answer by lacyjones at 12:01 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • ok ljones... OBVIOUSLY the bills will be paid. i am just pissed that he used the money to pay them for a PS3 just for him and then expected me to use the only money i will have to buy the dresses and then he will not want to buy them.. the dresses have to be bought I cant be a bridesmaid without a bridesmaids dress.. the swing set will be bought but before we even sat down to talk about what NEEDED to be bought and when it needed to be bought.. he buys the ps3.. and he will be paid like the day after the bills are due but i doubt i will get the money back to buy the dresses and swing set and be back to "pulling teeth" to get anything out of him for us..
    Ross2010

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 12:12 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • I remember feeling bad when asking my Hubby for money when he was the only one working, but I now work from home and I contribute financially as well. I used to feel bad, but then I realized that if I were to get paid for everything I do. I would make more money than he does. Your Hubby should realize that being a SAHM is your job. You do A LOT of work at home, and I'm sure you do your best to save money where ever possible. Have you ever spoken to him about how you feel? Hopefully he'll become more understanding.

    I thought I'd share a link to a funny joke that I have read in the past.
    http://www.momaroo.com/675336553/joke-what-did-you-do-today-honey/

    Best Wishes!
    www.ErikaCarrillo.com
    mommy2joeynabby

    Answer by mommy2joeynabby at 2:37 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • Honestly, if he is getting paid one day after the bills are due, pay them day late. Insurance won't be canceled unless it wasn't paid last month. The car payment won't affect your credit until it is 15 or 30 days late. Even a couple of days late won't matter. He needs to realize what is important. When we first got married my dh paid the bills and was horrible at it. I took over and life is so less stressful. If he wants to be a man and provide for his family then he really needs to think these things through.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • I think the big issue is that you need to have a hand in where and how your money is spent,, I bet you feel like a kid, getting handouts from your own husband. I am worried more about his attitude towards you and your kids coming before his wants! I hope it all works out for you, and I still would pack that game up, and take it back to the store, LOL!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:25 AM on May. 5, 2011

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