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3 Bumps

Mental health....I just don't know what to do

Truth is I KNOW im not stable right now. I go from clinging to the smallest thing for happiness to bawling my eyes out because I know that my happiness is superficial. I HATE everything and everyone around me. I feel like i'm going through the motions. "Oh I love my husband. My kids are my life. No this isn't where I pictured myself at this age, but its okay". Motions. What I really want to say is "I hate my fucking husband and at night I wish his tanker would explode. My kids have consumed my life like leeches. No this is not where I pictured myself and quite frankly I leave my doors unlocked secretly wishing someone would kill me in my sleep."

I KNOW that is NOT right! I KNOW these things but God help me I can't shake the FEELING. That nagging feeling.

I try to talk to my mom and she's " Oh your on your pity pot." I try to talk to dh, " Your just being dramatic."

No one understands that I do NOT want to feel this way, but I do!! I want to make it stop.

Someone I talked to once suggested that I check myself into a mental institution, but she also said that if I am too unstable they would consider taking my kids.

I am so messed up because as much as I feel they are a constant hinderance in my life and refuse to let someone take them from me.

What is wrong with me?? Why am I so fucked up?

I don't do drugs, I don't drink. I just feel like i'm lost at sea clinging to a floatie thats losing air.

If I do check myself into the hospital will they take my kids? What if I want to leave? What's wrong with me??

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on May. 4, 2011 in Health

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • PS you obviously need a therapist. It's likely going to be a project. Unless you're a danger to yourself and others and/or have been hospitalized recently they might make you wait awhile. Decide if you're more comfortable with a male or female and then hit the phones. It might take awhile ... be patient and persistent.

    And remember your life comes FIRST. But once a diagnoses is in your medical file it is there forever. in 15 years if you go in for an ear infection they might ask you if you're thinking about harming yourself. There are possibilities of it being used against you in custody fights, law suits, civil suits, employment, and much more. But you know your mind and body. It sounds like it's worth the risk. It'll be a journey. Saddle up and stay strong
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 1:28 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • Call your pcp RIGHT NOW!
    myownhappiness

    Answer by myownhappiness at 1:22 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • OK start slow...... hit your primary doctor. Don't put all your cards on the table. (UNLESS you're an immediate danger to yourself or others and you seem sharp enough to manage that) Explain the moods, lack of interest, depression, etc. He/she can get you started on something right away .... it can take months/years to find the right med(s) to make you feel OK again

    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 1:23 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • You desperately need to be seen by a health professional, no one here can help you, but you need to be seen and evaluated before something tragic happens, please do so, and do it now. If you do check into a hospital they won't take your kids, if you leave they won't be able to help you.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:23 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • CALL YOUR DOCTOR. No one will take your children if you're getting help. That's why it's there. And you NEED to get help.
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 1:24 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • They won't take your kids for checking yourself in...Now, if you DON'T check yourself in and you do something that puts them in danger, they will take the kids.

    Seems like you are depressed. You need to get help. Go see your family doc about depression. It's not necessarily something you have to be in the hospital for. They can prescribe medication and counseling.
    laird6372

    Answer by laird6372 at 1:24 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • Make an appointment ASAP with your primary doc to run labs and possibly start you on meds.

    Call your insurance and get the name of your local therapists. Make an appt for therapy.

    What you are describing could just be depression and it will get better with treatment.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 1:30 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • I don't have insurance. I live in a small town and every doctor, therapist and counselor I have called have all said the same thing. Sessions are 90- 110 each and the average wait period is 3 weeks. I am more than welcome to try the town 2 1/2 hours from me. Or I could just go to the hospital and tell then I plan to hurt myself and then I would have to be seen..... Their words.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:33 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • Go see a doc right now. NO< they WILL NOT take your kids for getting mental help. They could take your kids if you DON'T get help and have a break.

    GO GET HELP RIGHT NOW.

    And I want you to take a look at this website to understand more about mental health. http://jasontennies.org/?page_id=2 The story of these parents is heartbreaking and they are working to promote understanding of these conditiona that affects ONE IN FOUR.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:34 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • Is there a county department of mental health? You can probably get FREE service there.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:35 PM on May. 4, 2011

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