Truth is I KNOW im not stable right now. I go from clinging to the smallest thing for happiness to bawling my eyes out because I know that my happiness is superficial. I HATE everything and everyone around me. I feel like i'm going through the motions. "Oh I love my husband. My kids are my life. No this isn't where I pictured myself at this age, but its okay". Motions. What I really want to say is "I hate my fucking husband and at night I wish his tanker would explode. My kids have consumed my life like leeches. No this is not where I pictured myself and quite frankly I leave my doors unlocked secretly wishing someone would kill me in my sleep."
I KNOW that is NOT right! I KNOW these things but God help me I can't shake the FEELING. That nagging feeling.
I try to talk to my mom and she's " Oh your on your pity pot." I try to talk to dh, " Your just being dramatic."
No one understands that I do NOT want to feel this way, but I do!! I want to make it stop.
Someone I talked to once suggested that I check myself into a mental institution, but she also said that if I am too unstable they would consider taking my kids.
I am so messed up because as much as I feel they are a constant hinderance in my life and refuse to let someone take them from me.
What is wrong with me?? Why am I so fucked up?
I don't do drugs, I don't drink. I just feel like i'm lost at sea clinging to a floatie thats losing air.
If I do check myself into the hospital will they take my kids? What if I want to leave? What's wrong with me??
Asked by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on May. 4, 2011 in Health
Answer by hibbingmom at 1:28 PM on May. 4, 2011
Answer by myownhappiness at 1:22 PM on May. 4, 2011
Answer by hibbingmom at 1:23 PM on May. 4, 2011
Answer by older at 1:23 PM on May. 4, 2011
Answer by TARARENEE at 1:24 PM on May. 4, 2011
Answer by laird6372 at 1:24 PM on May. 4, 2011
Answer by ImaginationMama at 1:30 PM on May. 4, 2011
Answer by gdiamante at 1:34 PM on May. 4, 2011
Answer by gdiamante at 1:35 PM on May. 4, 2011