Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

13 Bumps

Instead of judging, sometimes you need to understand!!

If you were to meet Jeremiah my 11 y/o you would first notice his big hazel eyes, his cute freckle face and his shy smile. If you were to look further you may notice he is extremely small for his age, weighing in at 62 lbs even and about 4'5". If you spent any time with him you may notice he is very bright, critical thinker. You may notice he gets along better with females than males, you may notice he cannot run, he just really doesnt know how he kind of walks fast and its very awward. You would notice he doesnt look at you when speaking or that it may seem he is looking past you. You may notice he tends to be a bit repetitive, you may notice that he has to sit a certain way, face a certain direction, use something in a certain way or order.

Spend more time with him and you will hear him talk of wanting to have friends, no one liking him, people make fun of him, call him weird, stupid, retarted and he doesnt know why. You may know that he will only eat certain items on certain days. You may find out that on Mondays only he will eat cereal, but he cannot on other days. You may find out that he has to have mayonaisse on everything or he will puke, he cannot have anything soggy touch his lips or he will puke, he cannot eat veggies or fruit or he will puke. You will find out he lives off of certain foods but only at certain times and days.

Spend some more time with him and you may come to realize that he will not wear certain clothing or touch certain items because they bother him to the point of being painful. You will notice he avoids loud noises and bright lights because those too cause him pain. Join him for a meal and you will notice that he sits by himself, by choice because the rest of our food makes him sick. Follow him around more and you will see that he is such a busy boy between school, homework, eating, 3 different therapies a week and social skills classes and then baths and playing that he is very structured.

Be here on a day when one item is taken out of his daily routine weather that be his socks not the right ones for a Tuesday or not having bread in the house for his egg sandwich on Wednesday breakfast, to not having a PB sandwich everyday for lunch with tostitos and bottled water, to not having his insect book available when he sees an insect, and you will see him completely lose it. He becomes a different child, one that seems possesed and almost demon like. The demons within him that force him to lose control over all of his emotions at once causing him to become enraged and become very violent. You would see a mother struggling to keep the other 3 kids safe during these episodes or on the occasion they happen at school to watch you baby boy being taken handcuffed to a stretcher and doped up with anti-psychotic mediation and then him being out of it for a few days until his routine can be established all over again.

Join us during a hunger strike that will consume his body and make him very weak, you pray daily that his little body just doesnt give up on him. I have inthe past feared death due to these hunger strikes, mostly brought on from a new therapy to get him to eat new items. He has been in the hospital with a feeding tube to help him, its not a pretty sight.

Be here on a day when his depression kicks in and you have to make sure all sharp object are put up, including push pins or he will poke himself until he bleeds. Watch him beg me to make the hurt go away, it breaks my heart when he tells me he wants to go see God so he will make him be like everyone else, and take away all the bad feelings.

The next time you think that my child may not die if he cannot have his PB sandwich please reread this and try to understand his world and his life because it differs much from ours. Unless you go through it yourself or know someone with these issues you really cannot make that assumption.

I wish I could change him to make him understand more, to be more compassionate, to feel the way "normal" children do, but I cant, so I do the best that I can as his parent and I follow his routine the best that I can.

Heres a few links on SPD:

Link 1

Link 2

Link 3


Thank you for reading if you read the whole thing!

ETA: Jeremiahs official diagnosis are SPD, Aspergers, Bi-Polar, ADHD and ODD.

Meet Jeremiah

Answer Question

Asked by 2and2onway at 2:43 PM on May. 4, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 10 (424 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • Oh Mommy.. My heart fully goes out to what you must be going through, have had to go through and continue to go through and especially what HE must feel like through all of this.. I am literally in tears after reading this.. You must be SO strong...

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:47 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • It sounds like you have an amazing understanding of your little one mama! That is such a gift for a little boy who feels the world in his own brilliant way.


    Answer by ImaginationMama at 2:50 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • What a beautiful young man, you are a very strong and wonderful Mother. Not so many people know so much about their own children as you do.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 2:51 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • Right now my son is in a placement that is best for him and us. The state wanted to take him from us due to his anger and outrages. He is doing well and should be home within the year. i see so many moms on here judging others and their children. My son doesn't look disabled in any way, but he has many issues. I just would love if people, women, moms in general would ask questions instead of judging.

    Comment by 2and2onway (original poster) at 2:53 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • You are very strong .. Continue to Be Strong -Hugs- I cant even Imagine what you are going through (HUGS)

    Answer by PrissyT at 2:53 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • He's a very handsome young boy. I'm sorry he's going threw so much.
    It's really tragic that so many people today think cruelty is a strength.

    Thanks for sharing this.

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 2:54 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • I agree alot Of mothers On here Judge you as if there life is so perfect ! You cant stop them Just pray for them .. :) HUGS

    Answer by PrissyT at 2:54 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • zoe, I knew something was wrong with my son at 18mos old. Even as a very young mom of 20 yrs old, I knew something was wrong. I have fought for so much for my son. I know I will continue to do so for the rest of his life also. Thank you for your kind words.

    Comment by 2and2onway (original poster) at 2:55 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • Prissy, I feel the way to stop people from being judgmental is through education. That is my main reason for sharing our story with as many people that will listen. Some people may have already read this as it is part of my jounral.

    Comment by 2and2onway (original poster) at 2:57 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • You absolutely win the mother's day award of the day, if not forever. God Bless You!!

    Answer by Dahis at 2:57 PM on May. 4, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.