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This is hard

I just found out that my husband cheated on me for about 4 months when I was pregnant with our second son. Everyone keeps telling me that most men cheat when their SO is pregnant...I really dont care, if someone is giving you the gift of life you should have the upmost love and respect for them. We have talked alot about it, and I told him I would try to forgive him. I just cant seem to forget...it runs through my mind all day. He has been trying really hard to show me that he is sorry, and loves me...but its all I can seem to think about. Has this ever happend to anyone else..and if so, how did you forgive?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:10 PM on Dec. 4, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I had several pregnancies and have been married for 38 years. My husband has always been faithful to me. That statistic sounds like a crock of bull.
    tiredgranny521

    Answer by tiredgranny521 at 7:16 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Yeah that's a lame ass excuse..But you definately will need counseling..it's that or divorce, because you can't continue your life this way it isn't fair to "you"!!
    sydsmom2

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 7:19 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I don't believe that most men cheat on pregnant wives. It sounds as though you and he need marriage counseling.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:24 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Even if he changes, if you are not able to forgive him then its over. Its not fair to either of you to be constantly walking on egg shells. And like the others said, thats an excuse and a statistic. If you feel that its worth it to work on then do so. But do it for you and your kids. Not anyone else. GL
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 7:28 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • You need to work on yourself, make sure you know it isnt your fault that it happened. I do not know why someone would cheat on their wife while hse is carrying his child, thats insane, but im aware it happens. If you cant forgive him then you need to move on, it isnt fair to either of you. I would suggest you try counseling, individual as well as marriage, to move past it.
    Good luck!!
    Mommy_of_two_85

    Answer by Mommy_of_two_85 at 7:39 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • In my opinion counceling only mask problems, you have to ask yourself one question do I love this man? Doesn't God forgive us for our mistakes? Now I see COMPLETELY how you could feel betrayed but it is a proven fact men just aren't as good at thinking things thru they just kinda live life a second at a time with no thought to any reactions to his actions. It makes me mad that is the way it is but face it he is only a MAN! If you love him enough to forgive him darling allow yourself to let it go you have that power decide it is a bump in the road of life, let him spend the rest of your life making it up to you and IF he does cheat on you again that he can admire his family jewels in a pickle jar in the fridge! :) As far as him doing it while you were pregnant that was low down, but family is so important. Does he treat you good other than that?
    1countrygal

    Answer by 1countrygal at 8:00 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I am so sorry...my husband did the same thing to me when i was pregnant with our first daughter and he got the other woman pregnant...i didnt find out until 3 years after it all happend. I know how you feel...i found out 6 months ago and its still the main thing that goes through my mind during the day..and it keeps me awake at night thinking about it. We tried marriage counseling but it wasnt working...now he acts as if nothing happend...ugh i have so much to say when it comes to this..if you ever want to talk with someone who knows what you are going through email me ""HUGS""
    mom2girliegirls

    Answer by mom2girliegirls at 8:31 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I had that problem too. He apologized profoundly but I couldnt get over it. I tried but it just ate away at me until I couldnt look at him anymore. We separated about two months after delivery and he got weekend visitation rights. It gave me the time to think things thru. It let him see how hard it was to take care of a baby. It gave us the option to miss each other. After a month we got back together but a week later we separated on a permanent note. My baby is 5 months now and he missed all of it. We're making a hard effort at reconciliation. He understood the worth of having a good woman and learned to appreciate me. He is respectful and affectionate and we are learning to move forward together. It was very difficult. I had to re-evaluate our entire relationship, reasons why we should be together, what is important to me in a relationship, and is what's best for my son all I'm worth/
    little_kunoichi

    Answer by little_kunoichi at 8:42 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • 2 pregnancies and i haven't been cheated on..it's not a "statistic" it's BS.
    You can try to forgive him...but i see it as this he didn't just do it one time, he did it for 4 months...is he really sorry he hurt you or is he sorry you found out?
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 9:17 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I WAS 8 MONTHS ,FIRST OF EVERYTHING,HIS SECOND WIFE.. MY DAD TOOK ME FOR A RIDE TO THE MOTEL HE WAS IN WITH HIS FIRST WIFE.NOTHING SAYS IT MORE CLEARER THAN A FACE TO FACE.
    I LEFT CONFUSSED AND SCARED,HE BEGGED ,I EVENTUALLY GAVE IN.THAT WAS 30 + YEARS AGO,OH HE SENT ME A CARD A DAY IN THE MAIL OF SORRY'S. MAYBE DEEP DOWN HE WAS.
    THE OUTCOME WAS HE TRIED ,I TRIED BUT THE PROBLEM WASNT ME IT WAS HIM.IF HES NOT SEEING THIS ,ITS A PROBLEM THAT WILL STAY.
    MY EX-HE MARRIED 2 MORE TIMES AND FOUND NO PEACE WITHIN HIMSELF.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

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