Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Having a baby in jail...

My (soon to be adopted) son's bio mom is pg again and due in Nov. We plan on adopting that baby too. She will have this baby in jail or prison. I have more questions then answers.

Do any of you know about the proceedures?

Can I be there when she has our baby?

Can she have a tubal during her c-section?

stork

Answer Question
 
ochsamom

Asked by ochsamom at 5:26 PM on May. 4, 2011 in Adoption

Level 22 (12,399 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • She can have one coach of her choosing and most doctor will give tubals while they are doing the c section provided she is able. Some doctors want the woman to be a certain age and have 2 or 3 children. She will be able to keep the baby while she is in the hospital and the baby will not be yours until she signs the relinquishment papers.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 5:31 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • it depends on the state actually. my sister had her son while doing time and as soon as she had him we were notified and after they were sure he was okay they let us pick him up. The state had terminated her rights with her first born so they went ahead and took her second born because they were only 11 months apart and clearly she wasn't ready to be a mother to him either.
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 5:37 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • Thank you for that! My son Ray is her 4th child. My mother raises her older two. If she has any more children I will need to build a shoe to live in.
    ochsamom

    Comment by ochsamom (original poster) at 5:40 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • I would think it would depend on the prison and the state it is in. If any prison allowed a potential adoptive parent to be there for the birth, I'd be very surprised. Whether a tubal will be done or not would also be subject to the prison policies and the doctors. As far as I know, the woman must agree to have it done as well.

    You might re-consider calling it "our" baby and thinking of it that way at this point in time to save yourself some grief later on. Even if the mom is in prison and not able to parent, I doubt that 100% guarantees you get to adopt the baby. Right now, it is still "her" baby.

    How incredibly sad for a baby to be born in prison!

    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 7:41 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • Talk to an attorney in your area. I would not even want to guess at what they rules are for that. I hope everything works out for you.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:46 PM on May. 4, 2011

  • I am a nurse, and I've heard of inmates coming to the hospital to give birth, but having prison security or police outside the room at all times. If she is an escape risk or there is a chance she may try to assault one of the hospital staff, she may have her hands in cuffs during the delivery. I know it sounds terrible, but think of it from the point of view of the nurse who will be in the room alone with a woman who may want very much to take the opportunity to get away from prison. You will have to deal with the security policy of the hospital, the prison, and the wishes of the mother. I don't see any reason why they wouldn't do a tubal if she asks for one.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 12:44 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • I appreciate your thoughts so much. I don't blame the gaurds or nurses for taking any precautions they need to, to protect themselves, the baby and the bio mom. I say our baby because the bio mom and I agree she is pregnant with My (hubby and I) baby. I know we can get our hearts broken in the end. That is always a risk in adoption. But we've chosen to celebrate this new life and take our chances. Some things are worth getthing your heart broken over ya know.
    ochsamom

    Comment by ochsamom (original poster) at 12:53 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • I had a tubal when I had a Csection for my youngest twin. The paperwork needs to be signed 30 days before delivery, You can't just ask for one on the spot.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 5:58 PM on May. 6, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN