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Here she goes again trying to look "involved" Uggh what to do?

Soooo sick and tired. My stepsons are in the 3rd and 5th grade. This is the first year that coo coo bio mom with her supervised visits wants to act like she cares or has any involvement whatsoever in their education. My older ss is dyslexic among some other learning disabilites. (Who do you imagine does all the studying and homework with these kids?...hint.. not her) So this year she made sure to schedule her OWN parent teacher conferences and now this month she is trying for her OWN IEP meeting (for special ed kids) Now by law the schools can't denie her a conference but they do call and basically complain to US that they are too busy to "entertain" her wanting seperate conferences. (Basically if she wants to go she should be a grown up and go on the dates already scheduled by my dh when him and i are going.) But eventhough they complain she manages to get around it even if she ends up waiting a month for them to fit her in she gets her way as usual! Granted the kids are doing fantastic with NO help from her (they are not allowed to bring homework on their visits because it cuts into HER time) and i should just be happy about that right? I just don't know how to let her STUPID stunts not bother me sooooo bad! I don't want a drinking problem lol Please HELP!


Asked by Genice6 at 10:08 AM on May. 5, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,450 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I know that she's planning on not being there. I know very well how she operates. She's sick, mentally but, not stupid. Her illness has nothing to do with her lack of interest in being a parent but, she tries to make it look that way. She has exactly what she wants now. She's not an active mother in any way, she has people that she trusts rasingin him & she feels justified in complaining that it's everyone else's fault that she isn't a real mother. For her it's a win-win-win.

    Sorry, I had to vent, too, lol


    Answer by BubbaLuva at 11:21 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Thankfully the school is on to her antics too. Uninvolved bios can often be a pain when they pretend to out of the blue start caring. Soon she'll grow tired of pretending to care and things will return to normal for you. Good Luck.


    Answer by meooma at 10:28 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • WTH are you talking about Jo? Her step son is dyslexic, not the BM. & the confrences are for his learning differences so, she is obviously supportive of helping him. She's venting here & I don't see any indication of her being rude IRL to BM. Frankly, even if she is "mean" that is no excuse for a BM, as a parent, to just skip meetings that are important to her child's education.

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 1:47 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • Well it may be hard to see it now but you have the prizes(kids) mostly so focus on that?!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • It's the schools problem BUT they know you are the involved parents which is why they complain to you. I wouldn't stress over it. I agree with meooma when an involved parents start trying to play the part out of the blue, it's generally short-lived. When a parent who hasn't been involved makes a genuine effort it takes time & they aren't as difficult to deal with. It'll porbably blow over soon. If she can get on her bog girl panties & go the conferences with you, then she'll just have the wait for the school to accomodate her.

    What good will it do anyway? the school year is practically over.

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 10:43 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • Only one parent can have custodial rights the other one gets the scraps.... it's never fair.


    Camille, that couldn't be farther from the truth.

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 10:44 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • Camille, you made a generalization that, as I said, couldn't be farther from the truth. You can disagree but, you are disagreeing with a fact. It's simply unture that "Only one parent can have custodial rights the other one gets the scraps.... it's never fair" Sometimes right are split right down the middle & there are plenty of fair custody agreements. The fact that you & the BM mentioned in the OP get "scraps" doesn't mean that all non-custodial parents are in the same boat.

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 1:09 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • You have to realize under federal law she is entitled to all of the same things your husband is. Just remind yourself of that. You dont create or control what federal law says or does and basically it is the schools problem, not yours. My son lives with his dad and the school complains about having to have two meetings with us. But I live an hour away and he works alot so managing our schedules to coincide with the same day is impossible most of the time, and mind you we get along lol. We have come to tell the school too bad too sad for them, parents divorce and both of us are entitled to the same meetings. Try looking it that way.

    Answer by gemgem at 10:15 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • Does she know that it bothers you? If she does I would call her and her to attend when you all are there................and if she does it's just a way for her to drive you crazy cause she knows it bothers you..........If she doesn't, try not to let it bother you, you are the winner her not her and YOU always will be no matter what

    Answer by buttonlts at 10:19 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • I definitely AGREE that it is the school's problem so it is wierd that they complain to US about it right? And it wouldn't be so bad but she DOESN"T work, and makes these meetings seperate to spew poison like she's the victim and no one tells her anything about HER kids. I only know this because the teachers told dh about that also lol

    Comment by Genice6 (original poster) at 10:23 AM on May. 5, 2011