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I'm torn!!!

My daughter is getting baptized at the end of the month. I told my mom this back in March when I scheduled the christening. Last week my aunt told everyone she was having a party the same day for my uncle that is over in Afghanistan, so my mom said that she will come to the christening but will probably leave early so she can go to the party. We do not live near my aunt (4 hours) away so anyways the party is cancelled my uncle isn't coming home.

I text my mom to let her know and said to her now you can come and stay the entire time. She said we will see and something about how God works in great ways. So I text her last week to ask to ask her if she was coming and now she tells me that she is going to Pittsburgh to help my grandfather plant flowers. Are you serious? I can't believe she is going to miss her granddaughters christening to plant flowers and this is a person who is all about God and doing the right thing. The right thing in my mind is to be at your granddaughters christening. She can go any weekend but why does she have to pick that weekend?

Am I right or wrong?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on May. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I dunno.. sounds like my family, lol!! My mom wanted to be present for the birth of her grandchild but now.. she's too busy and really it would be better to come out later when things are better established.... Moms are interesting aren't they?!?! I agree with you if that helps but good luck convincing her.

    Answer by Camilletnt at 10:42 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • Right. And if I may add....maybe something else happened she didn't mention would be my only thought as to why the sudden change in plans?

    Answer by yesmaam at 10:43 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • Family support for these types of things are important. The child will love the pics when they get older. It would be something they can treasure. Maybe some of the people in the pics won't even be alive when the child gets to the point of appreciating them. I would be a little sad. Still follow your heart and do what you think is right when you want to do it and if someone who should be there, is'nt, then thats their loss.

    Answer by darter at 10:49 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • she probably figured that since the party is canceled that maybe its not worth JUST going to the baptism and stay and that is it, she rather make the two trips and see both of you, the party and the baptism and i guess the baptism isnt as important to her as it is to you.

    i do not know if your mom lives close together but i'm assuming she didnt want to make the one trip for the baptism and rather make the two trips instead thats why she wanted to leave early, she purposely didnt want to stay for the baptism. To some people, the things that THEY want to do is more important then sacrificing it, sometimes you have to sacrifice what you DONT want to do and thats probably what she is doing - going to do what SHE wants to do.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 10:53 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • My mom lives 2 1/2 hours from me and 6 1/2 hours from her dad. She is being selfish in my opinion. My grandmother recently died and I understand she wants to be with my grandfather but she can't pick another weekend? I am always last...always.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:00 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • talk to her and let her know how you feel then. I understand the feeling.

    Answer by Camilletnt at 11:38 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • I think you are right & If it were me , i'd be asking her why and how she could miss this important event in her granddaughters life, and I would get to the bottom of why I was always last. you will never know if you don't ask..

    Answer by momto4girzls at 11:53 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • awww I'm sorry. I think it's wrong and hurtful. Your mom should want to be at the christening. I can understand skipping the party after to go see a family member who is coming home from war... but skipping the whole thing to plant flowers? Plant flowers the following weekend!

    Answer by angelmommy11 at 12:22 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • I have talked to her before and she just gives me excuses. I will talk to my stepdad and just ask him if he is coming because mom said she might not and that way he will force her to go not me. She wasn't even at the hospital the day I had my daughter. It was a planned emercenty c-section I could have died during the surgery since I had so many complications and she tells me she has to work and she doesn't want to use her vacation days so she can go to pittsburgh. WOW!!! My stepdad later told me that if he had known all of this he would have made her take off from work. they work together and he is one of the bosses.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:37 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • My mom is getting older so I understand why your mom wants to go see her dad. Especially if she's not that into organized religion. Ultimately. she'll have a lot more time to spend with your kid later than she will with her dad.

    Answer by pampire at 9:36 PM on May. 7, 2011

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