Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I get my 11year old to stop being so lazy & apply himself?!

I have a very super talented in art, 11 year old stepson. I've been trying for the past few weeks to get him to make a few Mother's Day cards for his Birth-Mother and his Grandmothers. (And now Mother's Day is just a few days away!) He's an extremely talented artist, but he never wants to try and do anything with his talent. Including making cards, pictures, drawling, crafts, etc etc. I was wondering if any moms out there had any tips on getting his butt motivated!? I've tried everything I can think of, from lecture on thinking of others, commending him on his great talent, to plain right out forcing him to make stuff (but then he does a horrible, half way job). Any suggestions?!

Answer Question

Asked by TynaMariee at 10:57 AM on May. 5, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Instead of pushing, try praise. When he makes something, display it so everyone that comes into your house can see it and admire it. Praise his talents to others, especially in front of him. When you know he is in earshot, praise his talents and show people his talents. Even if he isn't right there, just where he can hear it. Praise goes a long way!!! He is also only 11 and preteen and teens don't always think about the big picture. Talk to him about what his future goals are and how he is going to accomplish them. I would not push or punish him, that is a sure way to discourage his talents. Tell him how proud you are of him. Heck, tell him how jealous you are that he has such an amazing talent (especially if you can't draw).

    But, when you find a way to get him motivated, let me know. My 14 yr old is very intelligent but unmotivated and I have run out of ideas to motivate him and so has his teachers.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:15 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • We do praise him, & display all his amazing work all over the house, he still won't apply himself though. =(

    Comment by TynaMariee (original poster) at 11:19 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • if you keep trying to force him to use his "talent" he is going to want to less and less...I say just let him be
    would you rather have something he really wanted to draw? or something that he was forced to draw?

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 11:24 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • Honestly, if he isn't asked to do it, he'll never do it. Then what's the point of him having an amazing talent if he never uses it? It's like he'd rather just "buy" a card then actually put forth effort to make a real nice one that shows heart & talent. (I blame some people who taught him it's better to buy love.)

    Comment by TynaMariee (original poster) at 11:30 AM on May. 5, 2011

  • here are two good articles on lazy children...he's probably bored...not lazy.

    sorry, for some reason full editor wont work anymore on my computer. i can't make them clickable...copy & paste...

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:14 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • You can't force someone to use their talent. He's just not interested in making cards. Find another outlet for him.

    Answer by RedRowan at 10:01 PM on May. 5, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.