We have a family of 6, and kids range from 12-7. My oldest daugher 10 has lots of emotional issues, anger issues, and she disrespects me when I ask her to do something. She has lots of problems in school as well.
I have a heart of gold, and I have a hard time following thru, becasue I see she is hurting. At the same time I realize if I don't nip it in the but I am going to have more problems when she is older.
My fiance I think is sometimes too hard on her and consentrates only on the bad things.
For instance, yesterday she came home from school and she plops on the couch. she had her school bag and her jacket with her. One of the roules in our house is that you hang up your sruff right away after you walk into the door. SO asked her to hang it up, she said I will. I step in and ask her to do it now. She says to me I will just wait, I said no, please go do it now. She just sits there and ignors me. I begin to count and then she gets up and stomps her feet and goes to do it.
Later that evening my SO and I talk, he said you really have to make sure she listens to you the first time you ask her. I said ok, so what should I do, he said well she should be punished for not listening. So how many chances do I give her? What should the consequences be? I did tell her that if she does not listen she will not be going to dinner with us, that is when she got up along with my counting.
She also wrote me a letter and told me she had a bad day, kids were picking on her at school. I went to talk with the counsalor, at school this am, she said she did have a very rough day. I said I think at lot of times kids do that cause she bully's them. At least that is what my SO thinks.
I am just having a hard time trying to figure out how to have her pick up her room, bathe, and just listen when I ask her to do anything. She picks on the other kids in our house and argues with them.
I am going to be bluntly honest with you.. you should have started a consistent discipline program back when she was barely old enough to understand. You cannot be their friend, you cannot be soft. You have to stand firm, and let them know you are the adult and you make the rules. She is walking all over you. However, the good thing is, it's not too late. Do it now before she gets too much older, or you will have no control. Lay down your rules. Don't give her any chances. If she misbehaves, enforce your discipline of choice. Get tough.. parenting is NOT for wimps! If she gives you too much grief and she runs to her room and slams the door, take the door off the hinges... Just remember, it's your house, your rules! Stand Firm!
Answer by m-avi at 11:16 AM on May. 5, 2011
Answer by NannyB. at 11:19 AM on May. 5, 2011
Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:36 AM on May. 5, 2011
Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:37 AM on May. 5, 2011
Answer by gdiamante at 11:46 AM on May. 5, 2011
Answer by gdiamante at 11:47 AM on May. 5, 2011
Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:07 PM on May. 5, 2011
Check out some of the top posts today in Groups: