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Why is it that we have a problem with porn? adult content

I watched it a few years ago and had no problem with it it actually turned me on to see it.....but after time it began to disgust me......this is after my ex cheated on me with my sister......so I took some time to myself. My husband watches it and I cant stand it if its not porn its photos on craigslist rants and raves of naked women and it makes me want to throw up and slap my dh for looking at that....the feelings that crosses me when I see this is "am I not good enough? And I not doint something right?" I took time to myself this summer away from him and I've been thinking and as of now the thoughts. Are why would you want to see someone having sex that has most likely been with 100 other people? I have talked to dh about this and he is working on this but I think maybe I'm over reacting. Just a little.....I feel that dh should not WANT or NEED to look at this but at the same time I feel like at least he isn't so disrespectful to be looking at it while I'm there and at least he isn't looking at other girls in person that way....I know I should try to overcome this but how? Can anyone help?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on May. 5, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I agree with m-avi. Beside, why should he have to get aroused that way, you're home. It irritates me to find stuff like that in my house! I found a cd in his pocket that said mp3 hotter than sex... yea, I know what mp3 is, and it's just music, but he hid it from me for the just in case factor that he might find something pleasurable with it! I look at it this way, he doesn't like it when I do certain things so I don't. Why should he be okay doing stuff that I don't like!? How would your DH feel if you started watching naked men do their deed? How would he like it for you to turn to something pleasurable for yourself and NOT include him!? Makes a person feel like shit, especially if they do not share the same interest in it!
    kbishop8688

    Answer by kbishop8688 at 12:57 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • It makes you feel bad because the person who promised to love only you is turning to another woman for sexual pleasure. I understand it's "only" photos but that just doesn't sit right and you shouldn't have to be okay with it.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:54 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • Why should you try to overcome something that you do not feel right about? I don't feel right about it either, but I expect my feelings to be respected.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:50 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • It's not your problem. It's his: he cheated on you.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 12:48 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • Don't disrespect your own personal boundaries. If you aren't comfortable you aren't comfortable. I'm not against porn. But I do get what you are saying. I don't mind porn but I find it very callus to tell someone to just "get over it".
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:53 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • See it doesn't bother me one bit. If hub wants to look at porn it has nothing to do with me or us. If it did, or if it became an obsession, then ther would be issues. But it's not. I dont' mind it at all. But I do agree that feelings should be respected in a marriage
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 1:00 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • Wait wasn't it the ex that cheated on her?
    myownhappiness

    Answer by myownhappiness at 12:50 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • Yes it was an ex that cheated and I still to this day am trying to get over the jealousy and insecurity the thing is if I'm alone I can watch it but if dh is there ill get upset......so I think these feelings is only false
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:54 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • i hate porn! i feel like its disrespectful for men to watch it. but there might be a lack of something in you relationship for him to have to look at it. i know all guys get curious sometimes, but porn? yuck. My hubby doesnt watch porn ( or at least i havent caught him lol) but yeah personally i think you should ask another male, they have more insight to this than women. imo opinion i think people who are porn "addicts" (im not sying you hubby is one) have an interlaying problem that might be a little deeper than your relationship! maybe counseling! gl!
    KiraStadnik

    Answer by KiraStadnik at 12:56 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • I'm not sure why your brain says porn=cheating. Maybe once you resolve that issue, you can move forward a bit. Lots- I would venture to say millions- of people watch porn and don't cheat.
    EgoTryptophan

    Answer by EgoTryptophan at 12:50 PM on May. 5, 2011

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