First of all sorry this will be long. But to understand you need some history.
9 yrs ago with the birth of our daughter DH began experiencing some mental health issues. It took 2 yrs to be diagnosed properly as Bipolar type 2. At the time we were both working together at a pet products company. He was my boss and manager of the department we worked in (printing). Our boss (Fred) realized there was some kind of problem with DH and of course asked about it. My husband is honest, and he told him that he was having thoughts of hurting others (coworkers). He was going to see a psychiatrist and for several years he was on medication. During that time Gloria (Freds wife and co-owner) tried to get DH to tell them what kind of medication he was on. That is illegal and of course DH refused to answer. That was the end of that.
Fast forward to Summer of last year and Fred dies. Gloria takes over and for awhile things were fine but tense. Gloria is the type that thinks she knows all and can never be wrong. DH and her butt heads over business several times the next few months. But otherwise its business as usual.
Then mid Dec. Dh is fired for terroristic threatening. Gloria said that Dh had threatened to kill coworkers. Honestly, he had said he had thoughts of it years ago when he was first diagnosed, but since then no he said no such thing. He worked a total of 15 yrs at this job, I'd think if he was a danger to others he'd have killed someone by now!
I'm 39 weeks pregnant (Due Sunday). We decided to leave our state in favor of getting help from family and friends. Which means we are living with my MIL. We are on state assistance and to have our cash benefit he has to participate in the job search. He's been putting it off though and has put us in danger of loosing our benefits twice already for not following through with the rules.
I keep telling him what he needs to do. He keeps avoiding. Today he went to his training session with the case worker and when he came home he was crying. This is a man I've only saw cry very rarely and never to this extent before. Yesterday he went out to put in an application but only got a little ways before he ran someone off the road. He said he was focused on what he'd tell them when they asked why he was fired and spaced out.
He's completely afraid of 1, letting me and his family down, 2, what to say to answer that all important question. IMO Gloria fired him because she's always been afraid of him. She's a total bitch and their personalities just clash. I believe she planned to fire him as soon as her husband (who always protected DH's job) died. She waited till the end of Dec when it would hurt us the most (xmas) and me being pregnant was just icing on the cake.
Dh has to go see a psychiatrist again, and I hope they don't give him the runaround. He had a great doctor before, but after loosing insurance he's been meds free for over a year. He was doing ok as far as moods until now. Stress has just put him in a tailspin.
I feel bad I can't do my part since I'm about to give birth. I feel I should really pick up the slack but can't because of the baby. I don't know how to support him through this. All I can do is hug and kiss him and reassure him we'll get past this. But I'm really afraid of whats going through his head that I know he'll never share with me.
Has anyone done a mental disability? Perhaps that is the best way to go for him, though to me it seems like avoiding rather than solving the problem. I really want to stay home and breastfeed the baby. But I know I'm going to have to find work sooner than I really want to. Which means I'll be working to try to support us and breastfeeding. I probably won't find a good enough job to get completely off of assistance. I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and don't know what to do.
If you got through all that, bless you! Any thoughts, ideas, or suggestions are welcome.
Asked by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on May. 5, 2011 in Health
Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:04 PM on May. 5, 2011
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