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Friend doesnt understand ...

My friend is a very wonderful mother ... she does everything for her kids - except quit smoking.

She has smoked since 10th grade ( about 8 years now) , I know she has tried to quit several times but she just always starts smoking again...

After she had her first baby ( she now has 2 ), she started smoking in the driveway of her house ( she was afriad that even if she went on the porch the smoke would still blow in ) ...

Now , I am someone who gets sick when i am around cigg. smoke... my nose gets stuffed up, I get a headache and I just cant be around it at all.... I can go to her house and not even tell that she smokes ... Her house does not smell like smoke at all... but after she comes inside and if I get close enough to her I CAN smell it on her...

Her youngest child ( 1 year old ) is now having breathing problems ( bronchitis almost every other month) .... and she is so upset over this, but she thinks that smoking away from the house is working....

How would you explain this to her when she is already "fragile" over this subject ?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on May. 5, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (18)
  • Get some medical information that explains from the American Lung Associations and just give it too her.

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 2:17 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • Well I wonder if she is truly smoking away from him then is it really the smoke? Plus I know its not good but I don't think that the smell of the smoke will cause bronchitis. Don't get me wrong I know its not great but some kids are just prone to getting bronchitis alot. My son did when he was younger all the time and he out grew it.

    Its something she could ask her dr about.

    Answer by choco_mom at 2:19 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • I wouldn't personally.. you can't MAKE someone else quit. I would just have her mention to her babies Dr that she smokes, whether its far away or close -let the DR tell her.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:20 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • Order some brochures on line and have them sent to her house. Maybe you can find some that specifically talks about asthma, bronchitis connections to parents who smoke. Good Luck

    Answer by meooma at 2:23 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • Well, as an ex smoker I'll tell you that the only thing you are going to accomplish is pushing her away, making her more stressed and less likely to quit.

    I understand your concern, you need to understand that nicotine is a physical addiction. It is not absorbed or utilized in the same way with a patch or gum, as when inhaled. The only thing I found that was close to smoking, was a E cig. If ANYTHING at all, that is the only thing I would mention. It isn't a cheap investment, BUT it does actually wind up a lot cheaper in the long run... and, no 2nd hand smoke.

    BTW- my sister has never smoked a day in her life, and 3 of her 6 children are ALWAYS ill with some form of respiratory illness. It can't be wholly blamed on 3rd hand smoke, some kids are simply prone to illness no matter what you do.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 2:27 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • Yes, their DR told her it is because of her smoking...

    That is what made me make this post... she was crying because the DR told her that, but she still thinks not smoking in the house is enough...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:29 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • If she has been told, and she is crying over it, she understands, she is just having a hard time accepting the information. Just be her friend, be there for her, and support her. Don't preach, nag or try to tell her what she should be doing. She has to choose to quit in order for it to stick.

    BTW, my friend does not smoke at all, and her son gets bronchitis, and phenomena a lot. In fact he is in the hospital at least 4 times each year. So it could be something else causing your friends sons problem.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 3:16 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • If she's not around him while she's smoking and even though that is what the doctors says, I'd be surprised if the doctor is right. I knwo several parents whose children have bronchitis a lot and one even has asthma yet the parents aren't smokers. Might be time for a second opinion just to be sure. Smoking is terrible for everyone but there is such a stigma attached to it parents are villified and it's the blame for a lot.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • IDK she just needs to wear a smoking shirt / jacket even in the summer, and remove it outside and you hand sanitizer b/f she comes in and she will be fine, my 4th child has allergies and she is not effected wif I use this method..... ( just started it) tell her to thry that is quiting is too hard!

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 7:42 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • Let me tell you---it is difficult and nobody can make her quit. You will just have to decide if you really want to be here friend , Some day SHE will decide to quit. It has to be her decision. I hope you can tolerate her smoking.I quit 8 years ago but....I smoked for a total of 37 years. I am healthy and feel great now. BUt nobody talked me into quitting. I had to do it myself.
    Good luck to you and your friend.

    Answer by minnesotanice at 8:20 PM on May. 5, 2011

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