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How can I make him atleast kind of understand?

Ok, I'm married to a 19 year old, and of course, I'm just recently this October, 23. Ok, so I've been trying to get through his thick skull, that his Buddy, Travis, is a user. " I'll pay you gas money if you take me to town, which we already live 45miles away from him, then he wants to go some where that is another 45 miles away from where he lives, then when my husband comes home, he's already gone about 180miles, and he only got $3 for the whole damn trip. Plus, he doesn't respect our son, and smokes around him, and my husband doesn't have the balls, or inteligence to tell him not to smoke around the baby, then Dante comes home smelling like an ashtray, and all he can say is, oh, the smoke must have drifted back in the car when the window was down. Its my car, and I don't allow anyone to smoke in my car. Can some one help me here, before I diveroce

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Asked by Momma_Neko at 9:23 PM on Dec. 4, 2008 in Relationships

Level 4 (40 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • You can tell him it's either his friend, or you. I mean it's not like he has any good characteristics right? If he insists on keeping him as a friend, then tell him he REALLY has to clean his act up. If your hubby is ignoring how you feel, maybe he's not worth you feeling this way. Good Luck!

    Answer by sweetvietchic at 9:28 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • sounds like he never made it out of his rebellious teenage years, esp since he's still a teenager. the ultimatum sounds good, of course he may not be mentally mature enough to be where he is with everything, being a dad at 19 and married....

    Answer by imanixon2 at 9:33 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Whats bad, is I gave him a choice, every month of my pregnancy, I asked him if he still wanted to go through with this. We hadn't even been married a month, before our son was born. I started dating him, cause he was different then what I normally go for, cause what I normally went for always cheated on me and hurt me, and was to controlling for me. I gave him so many chances to leave. He keeps saying he loves me, but I've about had it with his b.s. He tells me only half truths. "I'm going into town ( cause I have plans that don't include you, but include me hanging out with Travis, and doing stupid shit)," I think the only reason he stays is because his dad left when he was real small, and his dad does his best to avoid him, and makes every excuse not to meet his grandchild. I told him that if he doesn't want to be married, we can divorce, and make arrangements.

    Answer by Momma_Neko at 9:46 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Sorry you are going through this but if he was like this before you married him than don't expect a change. It also sounds as if he is too immature to be married. My son is 22 years old and not ready to be married. Be prepared for your husband to follow in his father's foot steps. People behave the way they were brought up.
    BTW- the more you fuss with him about hanging out with Travis the more he will want to.

    Answer by PrttyMstng at 9:57 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Tell daddy to not take the baby with him when being chauffeur and to get his own car to transport Travis.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:52 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Tell daddy that when he is with the kid he is not to have any friends around. What he does in his time is his thing but when he has baby he is at work and is expected to behave as such. And dont let him use your car. Sorry to say but this is just immaturity, and the only thing that cures that is hard luck and time (hopefully).

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 1:08 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • You married a child. You need to treat him like one.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:20 AM on Dec. 5, 2008

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