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My daughter and my boyfriend vs. her "dad"

My daughter grew up (ages 10 months-3 years) knowing my ex husband as her dad (which isnt the biological dad) now shes 4 and i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. he wants to be her dad (ex husband is not in the picture at all w me or my daughter) but my daughter still talks about her "dad"... how do i get her to forget and im not trying to have her switch dads but i dont know what to do...somedays she will say that my bf is her daddy somedays shell say he is her 2nd daddy and other days she will say wheres my daddy?(ex husband)....what do i do...i want my daughter to have a dad but i dont know what to do shes been hurt once before and i dont want to risk it again. but i want to be fair to my boyfriend who tries so hard to be a special person in her life not just "mommys boyfriend" but i dont want to end up hurting my child who in the end is the most important.

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mommie611

Asked by mommie611 at 5:33 PM on May. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • poor child. 4 years old and on her 3rd "daddy". Why not wait to at least be engaged before introducing your child to your boyfriend?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • I think you need to stop bringing men into your daughter's life, it is very unfair for her to have a "daddy" and then for you and him to decide that the relationship is no longer working and to then cut him out of her life as well. She is too young to have that many men in and out of her life. Put your daughter's needs above your own and wait to get into serious relationships that involve your daughter as well
    AshleyBishop06

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 6:27 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • porq seras tan pendeja?.... alguna ves dije q era su tercer padre idiota!? si ni sabes de lo q hablas mejor callate ese osico!
    mommie611

    Comment by mommie611 (original poster) at 6:29 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • i didnt "choose" this... if he wanted to be a part of her life then he would. he's not because he doesn't want to. Because he's a lazy SOB who cant leave his mommy behind and lives thousands of miles away.... thats not my fault we have been apart since my daughter was 2.... i think i have every damn right to be in a relationship and my daughter was just introduced to my bf and she loves him. his presence isnt why my daughter asks what happened to her "dad" shes been wo him for 2 years and shes in the process of forgetting him im not forcing her to call my bf dad or anything
    mommie611

    Comment by mommie611 (original poster) at 6:33 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • dont let her forget her "daddy"... my BF was in the picture before my son met his biodad and he remained in the picture after bio-dad skipped out... some days, my son will call BF "daddy", some days he calls him by his name. i dont force it. some days, he will ask about his "dad", other days he'll ask about him by calling out his name (where's tony... not wheres my dad)

    answer her the best you can.... daddy lives really far away and cant be here. but i love you very much.

    every day is a risk-- especially when bringing men into our kids' lives. you can take that risk and enter a relationship... or you can not take the risk and just focus on your DD.

    IMO, your BF wont become someone important until he becomes a more stable role in her life. you are trying to get a dad for her adn IMO, you need to stop that. it'll come naturally
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 9:00 PM on May. 5, 2011

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