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2 Bumps

It's disgusting, how much I love him...

I just want everything to go back to normal. Back to when everything made sense, when our marriage and life was 50/50, when it was painlessly easy.

Yeah I think that and partially wish for it, but then I think about all of the stuff I didn't know about my him at the time, that I know now. Makes me wonder how much of our life was a lie. How much of our life was based upon false pretenses. I should have known...I don't know who he was able to hide it from me for 18 months without so much as an indication. Things were not as painlessly easy as I thought I suppose and that bothers me a lot.

I don't know how not to take it personally...I don't know how to get through a day without thinking about it, about the things I saw and read. I don't know how, if or when I will ever get over this. And if I don't, then what? I throw away a 10 plus year relationship and start over? I don't want to start over with anyone else but I am unable to move forward with him at this present time. We're at a stand still and it SUCKS! It's hard sometimes to be in the same room, same car, same bed as him, as my husband.

This was never supposed to happen to us. We were not supposed to end up this way.

I just want to be held...and the one person I want to hold me more than anything right now is the one person who shattered my heart. The one person I want nothing to do with.

Daina82

Answer Question
 
daina82

Asked by daina82 at 6:51 PM on May. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Level 11 (601 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I don't have an answer for you, but I am so sorry you are feeling so sad and lost. Life can really throw you those curve-balls sometimes. Just know, that right now you probably aren't supposed to know what to do. And when the time is right, and the shock has worn away (if it ever does), just listen to your heart. You' ll be in my thoughts.
    Tarrar

    Answer by Tarrar at 6:55 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • Did he cheat?
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 6:57 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • hugs

    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 6:57 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • I don't know what the man has done, but if you love him this much, tell him you want to work on fixing the marriage. Get help if you need to. There exists the possiblity that the best is yet to come. People do sometimes learn from their mistakes, and if I felt the way you do, I would certainly give it my best shot.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:58 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • All I can suggest is marriage counseling and date nights to try to help bring you closer. Maybe write him a letter about how you are feeling. GL!!
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 7:05 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • I'm sorry, girl. It will work itself out. Just make sure you put your whole self into it fixing it. That way, if you do have to walk away, you walk away knowing you did all you could do & it just didn't work!! Good Luck, Hun. Take Care of yourself.
    loudnproud87

    Answer by loudnproud87 at 7:12 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • sorry to hear that. But what did he do thats so bad? He lie dto you during you whole relatiosnship?
    LittleBirdFly

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 7:26 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • Every relationship has its ups and downs. If you want to work it out, you should do everything you can to try. If not, then just tell him you can't handle it and leave. Do whatever feels right for you and don't let anyone else's opinions affect your decision. At the end of the day, it's your life and you're the one who has to live with your decisions. My hubby and I have also been together almost 10 years and we've had our share of rough patches as well, so I know what it's like. I hope it all works out for you.
    boshs1andonly

    Answer by boshs1andonly at 8:20 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • I'm sorry to hear this. You have answered your own question should you stay, well if you love him you will have to try and work it out, but You will never forget but forgive. I had a serious incident with my husband just this past February and I was so upset all i wanted to do was kick him out but the other part of me loved him so i stayed but i have never forgot.
    So please follow your heart and talk to him....good luck
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 8:22 PM on May. 5, 2011

  • You can be strong and make it through anything, I've been there. If you're thinking of staying with him, remember actions speak louder than words. Don't take his words on promises at face value. For now I'd just step back and do somethings to keep yourself busy before you make any major decisions that you aren't sure of. If you do decide it's over, stick to your guns and know things will get better.
    camiam81

    Answer by camiam81 at 8:51 PM on May. 5, 2011

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