I just want everything to go back to normal. Back to when everything made sense, when our marriage and life was 50/50, when it was painlessly easy.
Yeah I think that and partially wish for it, but then I think about all of the stuff I didn't know about my him at the time, that I know now. Makes me wonder how much of our life was a lie. How much of our life was based upon false pretenses. I should have known...I don't know who he was able to hide it from me for 18 months without so much as an indication. Things were not as painlessly easy as I thought I suppose and that bothers me a lot.
I don't know how not to take it personally...I don't know how to get through a day without thinking about it, about the things I saw and read. I don't know how, if or when I will ever get over this. And if I don't, then what? I throw away a 10 plus year relationship and start over? I don't want to start over with anyone else but I am unable to move forward with him at this present time. We're at a stand still and it SUCKS! It's hard sometimes to be in the same room, same car, same bed as him, as my husband.
This was never supposed to happen to us. We were not supposed to end up this way.
I just want to be held...and the one person I want to hold me more than anything right now is the one person who shattered my heart. The one person I want nothing to do with.
Answer by Tarrar at 6:55 PM on May. 5, 2011
Answer by June_Mama09 at 6:57 PM on May. 5, 2011
Answer by virginiamama71 at 6:57 PM on May. 5, 2011
Answer by NannyB. at 6:58 PM on May. 5, 2011
Answer by June_Mama09 at 7:05 PM on May. 5, 2011
Answer by loudnproud87 at 7:12 PM on May. 5, 2011
Answer by LittleBirdFly at 7:26 PM on May. 5, 2011
Answer by boshs1andonly at 8:20 PM on May. 5, 2011
Answer by dusty1962 at 8:22 PM on May. 5, 2011
Answer by camiam81 at 8:51 PM on May. 5, 2011