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4 Bumps

Why do some people have a fear of their partner cheating?

Where do you think the feeling comes from? Is it insecurity? Is it a trust issue? Just wanting some feedback. I mean what is the worst thing that can happen if someone does cheat? Just curious.

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MaddyTaylor

Asked by MaddyTaylor at 1:37 AM on May. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (83 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I always feel like he is going to not necessarily cheat, but leave me, because I have never understood why he wanted to be with me in the first place. He is definitely the better looking of us, the better liked, it just never made sense to me that he wanted to be with me. So ya insecure is a great word to use. And we have been together for 10 years. I just kind of keep waiting for him to get tired of me.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • You nailed it! It IS insecurity, this is not opinion but fact.
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 1:56 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Every1 is afraid that their other half would cheat but just as long as you believe in your other half then the feeling about being afraid that your other half will cheat should slow but surely will go away from you soon
    Tossundacis

    Answer by Tossundacis at 2:07 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • it could be a few different reasons.. insecurity of ones physical appearance.
    they have been cheated on in the past and that could be very traumatic and difficult to get over
    their s/o is intentionally/unintentionally leaving a lot of clues behind.. showers at weird times, working late, talking on phone in private etc.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 3:38 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Insecurity is a big thing..trust is another big thing. It's like waiting for the other shoe to drop...questioning things and anxieties. Some people have fears of abandonment, others have fears that if they can cheat...who's stopping the one their with from doing it to them. It's a load of factors that brings on the idea of what ifs. Some people even get blind sided by it because they felt they WERE secure in their relationship and bam! Mostly because not everyone has a back up plan for the what ifs. They are afraid of having the rug pulled out from under them without anything to cushion the fall. The worst thing that can happen if someone does cheat...the person gives or gets diseases that can play many risks to their lives, without a back up plan it takes longer to pick yourself back up and start over. Not everyone has a family to go back to that supports them...so fears flare up and overwhelm. Not everyone fears it.
    Imortlmommy

    Answer by Imortlmommy at 3:47 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Hard to say.. some people fear this because their spouse has already done it or given them reason to doubt, then others are insecure or just plain paranoid. Worst case? gosh theres so much.. it breaking up your marriage, your family, everything you've built together as a couple, possible std's, or a child becoming a result of that affair. Many women know they could never tolerate cheating so it would be the end for their relationship and lets face it.. we see infedility so much through the media alone it's normal to worry that could happen to us. (I'm saying worrying is normal, not accusing or obsessing. That's something different altogether.)
    Ashes0813

    Answer by Ashes0813 at 3:58 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • In my experience, the people who fear they are being cheated on are the cheaters themselves (or have cheated in the past)...
    XxPixiesworldxX

    Answer by XxPixiesworldxX at 4:29 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Insecurity, past behaviors, past relationships, lack of trust, suspicious behaviors, are some of the reasons people worry about their spouse cheating. The worst that could happen is the relationship should end and people involved should create a life for themselves without that cheating person in it.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 8:35 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • for me it wasn't a fear, it was a needing to confirm it. he was acting odd, walking out of the room to answer the phone, texting and suddenly having to go. finding photos of him without his wedding band on and so on. it was HOW he was acting that put the red flags up. act normal, talk on the phone with me in the room, don't get all mad when I ask what you are laughing about when you are texting (if there is a joke in the text that makes you laugh i would like to laugh too!), don't tell me you have to go to work and then come home smelling like th bar.. I'm not stupid, I just don't have proof yet
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 10:13 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • I had felt in the beginning of our relationship that if anyone would cheat would be him but I never harped on it. I went on in our daily lives & got married, had kids bought our 2nd home and BAM! He cheated. At that point of our lives I trusted him 100% & didn't think he would. I was never the type to know his where abouts, or call him to see what he was doing at work, when he was leaving. He could go out with his friends, buy what he wanted. In other words I never treated him like a child. He was always responsible and I never had to questioned his ideas or choices. Well, what a slap in the face it was for me. Here I thought I was doing it right and he still cheated. He was taken care of by me in every EVERY way and he still cheated.
    So I never had any fears throughout our marriage that he would cheat. And he did anyway. If they are going to do it they will, Where there is a will, they will find a way like lunch time @ work.
    SnapIt

    Answer by SnapIt at 10:25 AM on May. 6, 2011

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