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What is with women that exclaim "Oh my, are you okay" every time my toddler falls?

This really, really gets under my skin and irks me in major way. I have been taking my son to a PIES class for a couple weeks now and I have noticed the teacher, the teacher's aide, the therapists and the other mothers exclaiming the few times he has fallen down because he tripped on something or was running fast to get to something because he was excited...."oh, are you okay?" It REALLY, REALLY bugs me!!! I cannot stand those parents who coddle their children and make a huge deal every time they fall and/or scrape a knee. Oh my god, I see blood on my child.......i must run to them and kiss it and make it all better. This crap makes me want to puke!!! I have never been this type of mother and I have had moms say to me "well, if you had a girl you'd feel different". I can 99% guarantee I would not, I cannot see the future after all but I still do not see the difference between the two sexes at that age. My son constantly has bruises and scrapes all over his body. What is the big deal? He will survive.

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Asked by truthteller0722 at 2:16 AM on May. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 19 (6,797 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I raised 2 boys and that's what they do! Run, fall, bruise etc. I know when there's a serious injury. I would tell my boys to dust it off snd keep going, and they turned out pretty damn good if you ask me :)

    Answer by Kathy675 at 2:23 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • It is often so overdone that when needed it doesn't matter. And some people Yell and go so overboard.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 2:24 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • This kinda thing irritates me too sometimes and i have a daughter. Unless she starts crying because it hurt enough to trigger pain kids just kinda bounce back up and she only seems to ham it up when someone says something of the same thing like oh that hurt i didn't know maybe i should cry now even though it doesn't grr.

    Answer by LadyMitres at 2:25 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • I'm like that too. I have a two year old daughter and when she falls I might say "Uh oh! You're ok baby." If she's hurt then I might tell her "Come here baby, let mommy see it." She's a busy girl and, most of the time, when she falls she's over it pretty quick. She doesn't have time to cry about it.

    Answer by Razzle_Dazzle1 at 2:26 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • I can understand you about being like that with boys but with a girl its different your suppose to treat her like a young lady not like a tom boy i couldnt see my daughter with scrapes on her knees or anywhere but like you said it wouldnt matter to you if was a boy or girl some people are just different i would be like that with my boy too but i have a girl and a boy on the way :-)

    Answer by alexia_09 at 2:31 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Thank you mama's above! It is irking me so bad, I think I may need to start setting these people straight about coddling my child too much. I need to constantly say things to his father as it is (and this is his second child and my first). He will trip and fall and sometimes his face hits the ground and he scrapes it, but oh well.....i have NEVER made a big deal out of it and neither has he. He gets up and goes on his way like nothing happened. Obviously, if my baby fell and started screaming and crying I would run to him and pick him up and comfort him but he never has YET. And when he first started walking, he got some major bloody scrapes on his little legs but he never cried or acted as if he was in pain.

    Comment by truthteller0722 (original poster) at 2:40 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • I have 3 girls and 2 boys and totally agree. When my kids fall I tell them they'll be fine and if they continue to cry I make them come to me. If they can't physically get up and get to me then they must really be hurt and I'll go to them. IMO, kids are supposed to get banged up...that means they're learning their boundaries. When you make a big deal the kids think it's a big deal and then every little scrape becomes a big deal and they don't learn how to deal with the small problems in life...everything is a big deal all the time.
    And I'm damn proud of my tomboys with their scraped knees and scabbed up elbows, black eyes and torn dresses (because one HAS to wear a dress to go play in the dirt). Proud of my rough and tumble boys, too. With their sensitive sides that have them comforting their sisters when they get hurt and taking care of everyone. Damn proud.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:41 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • EXACTLY my thoughts should be proud. I cannot stand those whiny kids who go running to their mom or dad every time they fall down or get a little scrape. I intend to raise a man/woman, not a perpetual boy/girl!!

    Comment by truthteller0722 (original poster) at 2:53 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • I totally agree with you and I have boys and girls. I remember when my DD, who is the baby, was climbing on a jungle gym at the park and another parent was freaking out because she was climbing up the ladder, at the time she was almost 2. I was like she is fine, I watched her and made sure she was okay, although this parent was always freaking out. Probably why we aren't friends anymore. I think that kids need to be kids and at 2 years old they are going to fall and they need to learn that every time they fall down doesn't mean they are really hurt. I never coddled my DD any more than I did my DS.

    Now they are all older and my DD is just as tough as my DS and no one is going to walk all over her. She is tough and knows she can do anything the boys can do.

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:45 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • I agree with you too! My son is just learning to walk and tumbles like any normal baby at this time. We blow it off and act like its nothing, otherwise he will seek attention from it and start crying. As soon as he falls, we say "You're okay!" or "Oops. Good job landing on your bum!" and help him right back up, then step away. As a result, we have a tough as nails little boy. He actually will fall, bang into something, and get right back up on his own now without wasting tears on it.
    I was so annoyed last week with another mom at the zoo. Her son was 4-5 and had gotten a splinter. The zoo staff was trying to get it out and the stupid mom kept telling the kid how much it hurt and how they would have to go to the emergency room if the staff couldn't get it out. As a result, the poor kid was terrified and screaming so loud I actuall heard it across the zoo and went to investigate, just in case he was in with the lions.

    Answer by alphamom26 at 8:26 AM on May. 6, 2011

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