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Im losing my mind, what can I do now?

My 4 year old is driving me crazy.
My family HAS a routine. Everyone follows it except her. I have tried time outs/ removing privalges/stern lectures and even spanked her for the first time tonight after I forwarned her that if she didn't listen, I was going to spank her- and reluctantly had to follow through. She has older and younger siblings- they all fall in line and listen. She is the black sheep. I don't know what to do, I'm literally in tears right now. My husband works two fulltime jobs to support our family so I am alone a lot with the kids and it's really starting to take a toll on me. My family all works so I cant rely on them for help or to give me a little break.
I dont know what to do- I literally feel like I've tried everything. I have a very big family so it's not like I'm a new parent. I know the tricks, I've read the books. Nothing is working and I feel like ripping my damn hair out of my head.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:23 PM on Dec. 4, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Have you read 'Have a new kid by Friday'?. My marriage counsler recommended it to me and my husband for our 4 yr old. I'm just starting it; but i've read rave reviews.
    2boystolove

    Answer by 2boystolove at 4:50 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • can you put her in a preshcool program?

    or perhaps what kinds of things is she doing? or is this just a power struggle?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • how many kids you have if it dont bother you
    mama2twins07

    Answer by mama2twins07 at 10:28 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • NyQuil.
    KittyCalais

    Answer by KittyCalais at 10:28 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Here is a for instance-
    Earlier I was in the shower after dinner. The kids were all watching a movie so I snuck in because I could smell myself. (yuck!) I get out and all the kids are still watching the movie except her- she has snuck into the pantry- which has a child lock- got out a brand new thing of trail mix and dumped it all over the freaking floor! I couldnt sweep it up because my sweeper is still broken from this morning where she decided to throw her banana chips into the carpet and step on them. Like I said, I have a large family. I don't leave the kids unattended for long periods of time- if anything 5 minutes here and there while doing chores. I dont get on the computer unless everyone is watching a movie or asleep. I feel like pounding my head against a wall right now. I dont understand what the hell the problem is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I have 6 kids with one on the way. Like I said- the rest follow the rules, they are under control.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Maybe with that many kids and one on the way she feels left out.?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • can the others help out a little?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • or maybe can you find some way to get away from her so that you can catch your breath. this isn't healthy. seriously. she will soon feel this tension and probably already has an idea of what's going through your mind... not good.. for her.

    and if you can't get away... try setting things aside for a day.. spend some good time with her. bond with her. then, make it a point to set that special time aside just for her.

    this might only get worse after the new baby arrives.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • I plan on taking her to the movies on Sunday after Church. When my husband works thirds, I've been letting her come sleep in my room sometimes which I dont allow the other kids to do- sensing that she just wants that one on one time.

    The other kids do include her in activities, and thats the thing- she's usually the rebel that wants to do things differently than the rest. Her pediatrician just says she's strong willed and "too smart for her own good" but that doesn't help much. She does go to preschool 3 days a week for 2 hours a day already- and even there.... she's a handful. She's smart, but she's SO rebellious that her poor teacher is more than happy to give her back at pick up time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 AM on Dec. 5, 2008