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2 Bumps

What is your opinion??

What do you think about families who have more children when they can't afford the ones they have? I was talking to this lady who had three children she said she was struggling to support and she and her dh was trying for another one because God would provide. I thought that was kind of out there. I feel that God gives us common sense to make decisions like this for ourselves. But that is just me.

We have one child and would love one more. But I want to be able to live comfortably and provide for my kids. If I can help it I don't want to have to take aid from the government. I know that sometimes people fall on hard times and by all means they should do what they have to do to bring themselves out of the hole. But I don't think having another child will help that situation.

Just FYI.... I did not stick my nose in her business....she volunteered this info.....I seem to be one of those people who alway get TMI stories from random people.

Answer Question
 
Shaken1976

Asked by Shaken1976 at 8:45 AM on May. 6, 2011 in Politics & Current Events

Level 20 (9,288 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • IMO, people will do what they want for their familiesn(or to extend them). Me, personally, I have 3 children now. My dh was in the Navy for 8 years nd recently just got out. When he got out, I had given birth to a son who passed away the next day. Dh is on unemployment for now, but we do what we have to to support our family. Times are VERY hard at times, we manage tho. And yes, we're still TTC. Some people's beliefs just guide them in whatever way it will or they believe. Sometimes people's desires outweigh the rational. Either way, children are a blessing and whatever will be will be. But my simple answer is: to each their own, who are we to judge how a family portrays life. Nd Shaken1976, I'm in no way, talking down to you or being harsh, I do NOT wanna come off that way. I encountered this question on another Coommunity nd the blunt answers the women gave was it's between husband nd wife.
    ButterflyKissed

    Answer by ButterflyKissed at 8:56 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • I have two children and after my seventeen year old got cancer when he was two I had to think about the reality after losing everything to keep him alive. No big deal stuff can be regained but after this experience I was happy with the two of them and that was my limit even though at one point I wanted another the reality was I reached my limit with two and was grateful he went into remission and survived just like I knew he would. Children are awesome but deserve to live and learn everything they can without being the one who goes without.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:00 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • First let me say I am so sorry for your loss. I can not imagine the pain of losing a child after giving birth.

    I do realize it is a personal choice. I am just wondering what other people think. It is not for me to judge what they want to do. I make my decisions and am not going to force them on others.
    Shaken1976

    Comment by Shaken1976 (original poster) at 9:02 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • I know a few women who have 3 + children, no husband & have been living off the system for years. These women aren't my friends, but acquaintances. I think they lack responsibility....

    hate to judge like that, but if you keep popping out babies, have more than 1 father for them and are on assistance with no plans to get off....yeah....you made some irresponsible decisions for sure.....
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:04 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • its really none of my business at all, and every situation is different. im sure people love to judge me and the fact i'm 24 with 3 kids, my husband is unemployed as of recently and we're on foodstamps. based on that information and nothing else there can be endless judgments. but nobody has to know how we ended up here and i don't need to explain myself to the holier than thou's.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 9:17 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • tnm....It isn't people like you I am talking about. Obviously you guys fell on hard times.

    This was a random lady who started talking to me in line at the store.. Telling me how she was so glad that she got government assistance for her kids, and how she just knew God provided that for them so they would be able to have more children. That God knew she should be home with her kids and that is why HE made government assistance. Honestly she went on and on.. (long line) and I had no clue who she was. But it got me to thinking..
    Shaken1976

    Comment by Shaken1976 (original poster) at 9:20 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • I think that yes, God provides. I also think that God expects us to be good stewards of what we get. I am not bashing people who need help, and I do believe that family size is a personal choice. But I do have to say that sometimes people try to say that they are letting God decide / guide them, but yet, their actions say otherwise.

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:42 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • cont

    For example, my kids are very close in age, and when they were small, I often got asked by people with larger families when I was planning my next one. (I'm NOT bashing large families - I have several friends who are part of a large family and almost all of them have had great families!) When I answered that we weren't having more, some of them got rather nasty with me. One woman in particular that I knew (who had 5 kids), was very nasty - informing me "Well - WE let GOD decide how many kids we have!" She was frequently making snide comments about us (my dh had a vasectomy)

    Yet, 1 yr later, she was taking fertility drugs to get pg again... I have to admit, it was all I could do to keep from asking her "So, what happened to letting God decide? It looks to me like He said you were done..." I didn't say that, because it would have been mean, but I admit I was tempted, after all the crap she always gave me....
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:44 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • There's a HUGE difference in people who have children then lose the ability to support them through a job layoff or serious illness and people who are already on the systemS and continue to have children they know they can't support. It's wrong to expect others to support your children because you think God will provide for you/them...it's not GOD doing the providing it's US the taxpayers who fund all those &^%)(*@ entitlement programs.  If you can't afford children QUIT HAVING THEM.  We should have the right to refuse to support you.

    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 10:18 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Using the system for temporary support is one thing, using it as a way of life is quite another. I don't care how large or small a person's family is, that's a personal choice. I also don't favor the government involving themselves in the planning of families. That being said, I must admit it really chaps my ass when I hear of people using the system as a way of life and having more kids to increase their benefits. That's when I agree with meooma - If you can't afford them, keep it to yourself!
    hootie826

    Answer by hootie826 at 10:32 AM on May. 6, 2011

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