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2 Bumps

Husband won't have sex, what would you do? adult content

My husband is taking testosterone, but he still won't have sex with me. We have had a really tough couple of years, he recently went back to work after being unemployed for two years. We have a strong marriage, we're not fighting with each other, we get along and laugh, but it's like he has no sex drive anymore and it's driving me crazy! What should I do?

 
dwmom2008

Asked by dwmom2008 at 10:16 AM on May. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,767 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • after i had my kids i gained 50 lbs and my dh would never want to have sex...he was always nice to me and we didn't argue and had a great marriage, but no sex. after a couple years i finally lost weight (not b/c i thought that was even what was wrong...i just got motivated one day) and then he started wanting to have sex and always telling me how beautiful i was. i still to this day think that that was what was wrong all that time. he was turned off by me sexually but he still loved me. i am still hurt by this and have never talked to him about it. i do love him, but i feel very hurt that he did that to me. i am now always worried about what i eat b/c i know what will happen if i let myself go again. i'm not saying that's what's going on with you, but i just thought i'd share my story. i've never talked to anyone ever before about this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • ask him what is up or plan and honey's night in and get some sexy stuff to blow his socks off. he might be stressed
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 10:17 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Seriously----you need to see that he is probably depressed...being without a job for so long is difficult for men.Even if he is back at work, its not going to mean that he will suddenly get over the bad times. They think they are "the Breadwinners" and it related to their feeling of masculinity. And putting pressure on him to have sex will cause him to NOT want sex. Do you think you could use couples counseling? I do. The testosterone will do nothing for his emotional outlook. We are more than just glands and hormones. WHY is it driving you crazy? Marriage is a whole lot more than just sex. If sex is all that matters....maybe YOU need counseling. That's not a good way to look at marriage. OR...buy a vibrator.LOL. If you love your husband,you will help him. DOn't think about YOU.
    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 10:21 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • how long has he been taking the testosterone? That should really give his libido a kick! maybe after a few weeks, that testosterone will get him in the mood.....
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:17 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Yes, I agree.. the testosterone should really be kicking him in gear. Wait it out! Or talk to him....
    khf22

    Answer by khf22 at 10:18 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Is he on any meds at all? So many have decreased sex drive as a side affect. DH takes something crazy for migraines, his doc said it would get better after a while, but it never did so he just cut back the dosage.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 10:19 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Well hon, it could be a hormonal imbalance. Has he been checked???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Not sure how long it takes the testosterone to kick in, or if the dosage is correct. Something else to consider is that he may be suffering from depression. Being out of work can really bring a man down and affect him more than you can imagine. The fact that you two get along so well is a plus, but I feel certain there are some deeper issues he's trying to handle. Just because he laughs doesn't mean he's happy, remember he wasn't able to provide for you for 2 years. That is a tremendous burden to a man.
    sipn_mom

    Answer by sipn_mom at 10:29 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Back to the doctor. Either the testosterone is NOT doing the job or there's something else going on.

    Has he told you everything that's going on with him? Any new aches or pains from the new job? My husband's sex drive went into the toilet after a motorcycle accident seven years ago. He just had surgery to correct the problems last month and is still recovering... so we'll see.

    You want to make sure you eliminate all possible physical causes, and your doctor can help with that.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:54 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Maybe because it's been so long he's not feeling very confident? Also , weather you sound like a bitch or not, you need to adress the issue and let him know how your feeling...
    Helen2004

    Answer by Helen2004 at 1:05 PM on May. 6, 2011

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