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3 Bumps

Double birthday party

So my friend is having a double birthday party for her son who will be 4 with her nephew who will be 6. I am very close to her and her son but hardly know her nephew at all (or her sister). I bought her son a $50+ gift but I 1. can't really afford to and 2. don't know this other kid well enough to buy him a $50+ gift. I was thinking about just buying him an activity book and a 24 count crayon box. Personally, if it was me, I would have either not done a joint b-day party or put on the invitation that it is a joint b-day party but you are invited as Tyler's or Jordan's guest for people who only know one or the other, so people don't feel they have to buy for both children if they don't know them both. But since they didn't do that, is it ok to only buy the one boy a small gift since I don't really know him?

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JLS2388

Asked by JLS2388 at 10:52 AM on May. 6, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 25 (25,280 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I think what you're thinking about doing is fine.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:54 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Yes. I would buy him something SMALL. I would also call your friend and explain to her how uncomfortable it makes you feel and that you had only budgeted for her son, and not someone else's kid! lol

    BeachyBabe

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 10:56 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • In my opinion no it's not okay to buy just one person a gift. If was you I would have gotten both kids $25 gift. I don't spend more then $15 on my BFF kids...and they are the same with me..... I don't even spend $50 on my own kids.
    SAHMinIL2

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 10:57 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • I can understand why she did it I guess, neither my friend nor her sister have much money so I guess this saves on the party but I feel it is kind of rude to do a joint b-day party unless it is siblings or something.
    JLS2388

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 10:58 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • I think you are right in getting a smaller gift, perhaps the other family can't afford a BD-party, or maybe the kids are super close, and asked for it, I wouldn't explain anything to my friend, once your there you will see what the deal is! Who knows both you and your kiddo might make a new friend!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:58 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • I think getting the other kid a book or something is fine. They open presents in such a whirlwind and get so much, no one is going to notice anything. The other boys good friends will get him more expensive things. Don't worry about it. They will probably open their presents at home anyway.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 11:00 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • SAHM, I bought the gift before she told me it was a joint party. I lost the receipt so I can't take it back or even exchange it (since it has now gone even further on sale.) I wasn't planning on not bringing him a gift at all, just a $5 or $10 gift since I don't know him
    JLS2388

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 11:00 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • We do joint parties and usually we tell people if they are bringing a gift to split the money they planned to spend on both kids so it is fair. My son and granddaughter have joint parties, so at the last one most people spent around $20 each on the kids. I would do a gift card if you dont know the child enough so they can buy whatever they want.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:03 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • I think it is acceptable if you only bring a gift for the one child, or a SMALL gift for the other. I have a joint party EVERY YEAR for my DD and her cousin. Usually my DD gets more from HER grandparents, and her cousin gets more from HIS (the grandparents they don't share). It's all good. No one expects EVERYONE to give EACH child a gift. Just come and ENJOY.

    KairisMama

    Answer by KairisMama at 11:07 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • just a small gift from the dollar store is fine, maybe a truck for $3,00 or something like that.
    we have done my dd's and my nephews bdays together since birth because they were born the same day, an half hour apart. this year is the last year we are doing them together, since i have a 4 month old born the same month. probably do a combined girls party after this year (baby will be one so i think she should have her ow first bday party). but thats what our friends did, something for the kid they came for and something small for the other kid. it evens out.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 2:04 PM on May. 6, 2011

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