Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Would you call her on her birthday?

If your daughter made up vicious lies about you and tried to get herself removed from your home so she could have no rules and live with her best friend? This girl had her boyfriends mom trying to get her emancipated! All because she felt we were too strict. Haven't spoken to her in a few months and she is turning 18 next week. I don't want this to go on forever. I was hoping she would call and apologize or yell or anything. She still speaks to the rest of the family just not her parents. What should we do? Hurting so bad over this. But also, not going to put up with her crap.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on May. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Also just so you all know, she was NEVER abused, in any way. The worst punishment she received was we took all her crap out of her room except her bed and her clothes. She had to earn stuff back. And that was for her continuing to break every rule repeatedly, and lying constantly.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:46 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • When my dd was 16 she got pregnant and tried to have me get in trouble by calling cps and saying I was mean to her so she could live with her bf. It was a hard time but she didnt win that battle. Anyway I would call my dd in your shoes. She is going to be 18, an adult, and pretty much now she isnt going to have that going on anymore will she? She gets to be a big bad adult living in the real world now.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:47 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • I would call her. Despite your differences and all the hurt that has gone on...she is still your daughter and 18 years ago when you gave birth to her was one of the happiest days of your life. Call her.
    cheekycherub

    Answer by cheekycherub at 11:48 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Wow, that's horrible... I think you should try. I mean, she can (and quite possibly will) refuse to talk to you, but you will at least know you tried to tell her you love her. And who knows? It may work out great and she could talk to you! Best of luck to you!


    good luck

    CeeCee333

    Answer by CeeCee333 at 11:49 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • You know what? That all sounds just HORRIBLE, but yes, I think you should call her. Someday she'll have regrets about all this, and i think a birthday wish is a sweet and gentle reminder that you love her now and always will. When things get rough and she realises that getting AWAY from rules isn't what she thought it would be (or even possible), she may just want to come back to her parents strict but loving arms.

    Good luck to you! I can't even imagine how hard this must be on you and dad. :(
    BethLopez

    Answer by BethLopez at 11:50 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Call her. Even if she is a brat or doesn't take your call when she gets older she will look back at this and know even with everything you two are going through you still called her to say" happy birthday honey i love you".
    NewMommyAshley

    Answer by NewMommyAshley at 11:51 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • Thank you so much ladies! I am so sad! She is not my bio daughter, I am her step mom, but we were really close and I have been in her life since she was little. She called me mom and I always called her my daughter, not my step. Her dad is so hurt there is no way he is going to call her. I kind of don't blame him but at the same time I feel we are the adults and we need to suck it up, love should never be conditional to your kids.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:54 AM on May. 6, 2011

  • call her
    Ksmomma30

    Answer by Ksmomma30 at 12:13 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Send her a card saying that you are hoping for the best for her and that you are praying for her (or if you are not religious, just say you are wishing her well). If she is going to be so terrible to you then she cant expect you to spend money on her, but you are still her parents. You will have to be the bigger person and be kind. Eventually she will grow up and realize that she was wrong and that you treated her fine. You continuing to treat her well also shows her that this whole issue is just her being immature and hurtful while you are trying to have a good relationship with her.
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 12:51 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • It wouldn't hurt to try. Love isn't about DNA after all. Love is about family bonding. As a parent you set limitations. She might not have liked them, but in time she will understand how important limitations are.
    Suzi

    Answer by Suzi at 1:06 PM on May. 6, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN