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4 year old misbehaving in daycare.

My 4 year old does not watch TV or play video games. He is mostly well behaved at home. He has rules and follows them. He goes to daycare 5 days a week, unless he is sick or I have extra time to spend with him. Dad or I will tell him what we expect from him as far as behavior goes for that day before we drop him off at daycare. I would like him to listen to his teacher and be nice to his friends. I would like a good report from the teacher and when he gets home we will be happy and he will get a reward. We start the night before he goes to school, telling him how he knows how to listen and what is expected of him at daycare. Some days at daycare his teacher says he does fine. Other days she says he did not listen to her all day, he got mad and tried to knock over a chair when she sent him to time out, he did not play well with his friends, ect. On days when he gets a bad report from daycare, when he gets home his dad and I go into his room and sit down and have a talk with him. We ask him what happened throughout the day and why did he think he got a bad report. Then we say this bad behavior is unacceptable and if he would like to play with his toys (which we then take out of his room) he has to get a good report the next day. To make sure he understands we ask him how he can change his behavior tomorrow to get a good report. He tells us he will listen to his teacher better and not fight with his friends, ect. Sometimes he gets bad reports day after day; sometimes he goes a whole week, plus the weekend without misbehaving. How can I keep his good behavior consistent? How can I get him to behave in daycare? What else can I do as an incentive to get him to get good reports at school?

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t4turtle

Asked by t4turtle at 12:00 PM on May. 6, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Have you tried checking in to his Diet to see if the foods he is eating could be a culprit? I know it sounds odd but I notice a ton when my son goes days with having HFCS foods or over processed foods and not homemade / fresh fruits/veggies, that he can be the same way. I am currently researching how to chart and track and make dietary adjustments for him to see if this could be a reason for our son. Just a thought.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:03 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Have you had a chance to talk at length with his teacher to get more details about the problems. Maybe the two of you can come up with some expectations/discipline that can be consistent at both home and school. Your litttle guy sounds like he can and wants to behave. Maybe he needs the rules/expec tations made more clear.
    jmpj8107

    Answer by jmpj8107 at 12:23 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • That is an interesting point about food. He told me the other day that it was the silly food that made him act that way. I asked him what food was he talking about because we do not eat at fast food chains such as McDonalds, ect. As far as processed foods go and HFCS, or candy, we do not eat those either. I do not use salt in my cooking and I cook at least 5 or 6 days a week and we always eat dinner as a family at the dinner table with soft music in the background. Well that day his daycare took him on a “fieldtrip” to Peter Piper Pizza; it’s like a Chuck E Cheese. Could I be restricting his diet with healthy food too much that when he does eat “junk” he gets sick and it could affect his behavior? Also, he does not like soda (partly because I never let him drink it)
    t4turtle

    Comment by t4turtle (original poster) at 12:26 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • I don’t get a chance as often as I would like, dad mostly drops him off and picks him up. I have told her that he gets into trouble when he misbehaves in her class and he knows what’s expected from him. I told her if she needed too she could use the fact that we put an X on his calendar if he gets a bad report at school, in order to curve his bad behavior. If she uses it or not I don’t know.
    t4turtle

    Comment by t4turtle (original poster) at 12:31 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • I don't feel that you are restricting him in any way by keeping those foods out of his system but I have read that even a slip like Chucky or Field trips where he doesn't eat those foods, CAN affect them for days afterwards. How does he eat in school versus what you feed him at home? Any chance you can have him bring the foods to daycare also? I would chart the foods and see what your results are. Sounds like he's smart and also knows his body and reactions already... its worth a shot!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:41 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • This is not the answer but I want to share with you the frustration. There is a medical office next door to my son's preschool and one day after a day of acting out at school and at home, and then ticking me off to a breaking point in the morning I drove to it and told him it was the bad boy school and pointed out there were no playgrounds I even got him out of the car and took him in and asked if he saw any toys. I know this is wrong and feel guilty about essentially psychologically tormenting my child. I apologize to all the Mom's who read this and think its abuse, but it worked. I threaten the bad boy school and things instantly get much better.
    Hopefully you'll get some good advice from others that I can also steal. Good luck and remember this is the age to explore new behaviors so this too will pass, just like 2 tormenting weeks of Preschool Fight Club did for me.
    hotelmom123

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 3:58 PM on May. 6, 2011

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