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Ew.... horrible "father" , horrible "judge"

My sister once dated a disgusting man, and unfortunatly he became the father of her adorable little boy.

He treated her horrible ... he abused her in everyway and it got to a point to where she just couldnt do anything ( she became so emotionally drained ) and checked herself into a hospital ( she stayed for less than a month ) .. HE was no where to be found ( he must of thought the cops would be looking for him because we had alot of proof of how he treated her ) ....My mom and I took care of my nephew during this time

She got out and was like a new person ... She was back to being a wonderful mom and person. It only took her 2 weeks to find a good job and then a house for her and her little boy . After hearing of her good job ( it was literally the next day after he found out she had a job) he went and filed for custody and to get child support.

This is a man who doesnt work, who lives with whatever will take him in, we had pictures and statements from several people, and 3 police reports of how he abused her, my mom and I even gave a statement that we took care of him and he was no where.

The onyl thing he had to "prove" that he was a better parent was that she checked herself into that hospital ....

and that was IT ... HE got custody.. thank god he does have a decent mother though and we KNOW that his mother is the one actually taking care of my nephew ( she lets us see him all the time too ) ... But it is so disgusting, we KNOW he does drugs, we know he drinks heavily and drives, we know how he lives off of everything and everyone.... my sister has never done drugs and the only time she has ever drank was one year at Thanksgiving we had some wine, her only problem is she met a monster who hurt her so badly she needed medical help . and now she has to pay him "child support" and he doesnt even take care of his child.

And now today i was on Facebook and noticed he had commented on a mutals friends status .. The girl on my list is selling a large snake ( we went to school together so I dont know that much about her ) .... and he commented on it with this reply " i dont know if I can buy that snake now because my child support was lowered, and I already told my friend that i will pay him to fix up my car, if you can wait until july i can buy the snake though"

Can you believe that... he annoucing to everyone that he spends the child support on himself !!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on May. 6, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (13)
  • Not surprising. I lost custody of my son for less. The fathers rights movement has come a long way and I am all for fathers rights, dont get me wrong, but sometimes this is the result. My son lives with his dad and although at the moment we get along my son is not in a good home. I have to go BACK to court now and show the judge made a mistake. One peice of advice is to print off as much as you can of anything that he posts publicly. You can use that in court, especially something like FB since it has his name, and anything he uses his picture with.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:36 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • You can hire a PI too.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 2:39 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • wow i didnt even think of hiring a PI ... thank you
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:52 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • I kind of find that hard to believe. I was in a mental health facility, my ex took me to court and lost. This guy had to prove he was a better dad and obviously did. I get child support. I don't always take that money specifically and put toward my kid but I do spend a very decent amount of money on her from my check and then when I got the other money, I put it towards bills.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Courts and judges and lawyers often forget the most important thing in determining child custody ... IN THE CHILDS BEST INTEREST....
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 3:36 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • I would go back and have it modified because he isn't the one taking care of the child. Your sister needs a better lawyer. Can she still press charges for the abuse?
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 5:30 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Tell her to take it back to court. Did she file any kind of reports on him regarding abuse?
    heatherann0221

    Answer by heatherann0221 at 8:33 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Though this is a very sad story, many dads have lost custody for less. In fact hundreds, probably thousands of dads have lost custody of their dearly beloved children just because they are male. Just because they are not female. Your sister lost custody based on something real, her past mental breakdown. She didn't lose custody because of a whim or because of her sex. I think she could go back to court and refile. And maybe even win. But if she has been diagnosed with a personality disorder, such as borderline, she may not ever have custody again.
    lilangilyn

    Answer by lilangilyn at 8:38 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • She wasnt diagnosed with any kind of disorder ... they just said she was " mentally exhausted " ... she doesnt have to take any kind of meds or even do check ups... it just got to where she was so depressed over the way he treated her that she stopped eating or taking care of herself

    We have talked to a lawyer and the lawyer said that the judge we had has had alot of appeals filed on his rulings and we do plan to go back ...

    and the poing in saying how he spends his money is ... he does not have my nephew his mom has him 24/7 - unless we have him. He does not give her any money or buy him anything ... she has even said that she will go to court or file out a statement saying that he leaves him in her care and that he only comes around once or twice a month to get money ..so hopefully with a new judge or atleast with all of this proof of how crappy he is, something can be done...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:33 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • I would apply to have your mom get FULL legal custody and with the fathers rights removed completely. As a grandparent she has rights too. After which she can sign over custody back to her daughter.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:39 PM on May. 6, 2011

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