Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

What to do :/

I just found out that my bf of about 3 years cheated on me last summer. Full on cheat, if you catch my drift. I don't know what to do. Should I be mad? Which of course I am, and of course it disgusts me. But if it happened last summer one time, according to him and my good friend that told me about it, it was only a one night stand. Should I be done or keep on going strong? We are on a break right now so I can clear my head for a sec...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on May. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • There is NO excuse for a cheater! If it were me, I would do something to get back at him. Kick his ass, throw all his stuff on the lawn, slash his tires and DEFF break up with him. But that's just me, I don't roll with that kinda sh*t.
    Kari727

    Answer by Kari727 at 2:59 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Uhhh id be done personally. If he did it then whos to say he wont have the temptation to do it again later on. Ive been in that situation and left him completely. Once I left him completely he came out and told me about more stuff he did.
    campbellb3421

    Answer by campbellb3421 at 2:59 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Take all the time you need while on this break to clear your head and to find out if you can trust him again. You'll go through all the emotions of being upset, to sad, to frustrated and disgusted, to wondering why you wasn't all he needed, to angry and other emotions but during all these periods ask yourself if this is someone you can build a happy future with without the sting of the past coming to the forefront....
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:01 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • It's going to take time to heal, but you CAN move on without him
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 3:01 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Whether or not to end your relationship is only something you can decide. Each person that has been through cheating chooses to leave or stay for their own reasons. Just like the person who cheated did so for their own reasons.

    The best advice I can give you is this (and yes I am a woman who has BTDT. My husband of 26 years had a one night stand 17 years ago).....

    Look deep within yourself and see: Is this something I can forgive and move on from? Is this something I will be able to eventually (it will take a few years) let go or am I going to focus on this for the rest of our relationship, stew over, think about constantly, throw in his face whenever I get the chance...etc? Then learn from him WHY he chose to cheat. Then the two of you have to look at your overall relationship and decide if it's worth saving and rebuilding (which is a must if you stay together) or if it's best to cut your losses and move on.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:01 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • My husband cheated on me. We had just lost a baby and I guess I was comforting him enough (WHATEVER!) I left him and moved 700 miles away and he glady packed my things along with my sons. WHAT A JERK. Well a few months later he came crawling back. Now I know some people say theres no way he changed but 3 yeras later we are still going strong. Your man done it once, mine kicked me and my son to the curb. UGH its hard to even think of it still to this day. Good luck. Its a hard decision.
    jmgblair10

    Answer by jmgblair10 at 3:02 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • No one knows but you what you should do. All we can do is tell you what we would do...I would end it. I'd walk away and never look back. Once trust is broken it changes a relationship forever, and even though you may forgive him you will never FORGET that it happened.

    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 3:02 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • yeah i would just do what is best for you & your kids he dont deserve a great woman like you so if you feel the right to let him go then do it i know it going to take some time but you will be just fine i know you may love him but if he really cared about you he wouldnt have cheated on you no matter if it was just 1 time that he says but you deserve a respectful man who cares about you & loves you & wont hurt you but it is up to you sweety whatever you feel is right good luck
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 3:07 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • If you decide to stay, I would definately make therapy a requirement. You are entitled to explanations, insights, and apologies. Sometimes a third party can help through this process. It is important for the health of your relationship that you both deal with all of this now and not let it fester in the background for future ruin.

    Personally speaking, though, if my husband cheated, I would be forming an exit plan. I know that I could never forget it, and it would completely undermine my trust. The relationship would be ruined for me. I may not leave right away, but it would be in the plans, for sure.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • that is a decision you have to make really hard. are you able to say i can forgive him? will i not throw it in his face when we have an arguement? will he cheat again, can i trust him anymore. things to think about it really hard. give yourself that time and don't let him force you to forgive him. you take all that time you need, its your decision on what happens not his. he should be kissing your ass and doing whatever he can to gain your trust and forgiveness.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 3:17 PM on May. 6, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN