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Discipline issues?

I am at my wits end with my 3 year old daughter. My marital life is calm and we've rarely had an issue with each other. However, my 3 year old has been acting out for the last year and it's steadily getting worse. I've been working on potty training with her trying everything from the reward system to sitting her on the toilet every hour for 15 mins. She won't tell me when she needs to go instead when I go in to use the bathroom she runs into one of the other rooms of our house takes off her pull up and defecates/urinates on the floor. We've also recently had to put a lock on our fridge because she got into the habit of waking up before my husband or i and dumping out entire gallons of milk all over the house. When we tell her no on something she screams NO at us and runs into the other room folding her arms across her chest. We've tried time out but or landlord lives below us and said that the screaming from her needs to stop or we're looking at an eviction. We live paycheck to paycheck as it is and can't afford any other place than this. We are on the section 8 waiting list but it's a 4 year wait. She is VERY intelligent, and speaks with the fluency of a child twice her age. But I just can't handle this anymore, i really don't know what to do. She rarely eats, unless it's mac and cheese or eggs. And the apartment we live in we are on the second floor and do not have a yard for her to play in or expend her energy.. The parks around our area are dangerous unless accompanied by a bigger group of people. As I am a mother at 21 a lot of my friends dipped out on me and i haven't spoken with them in 4 years. What can I do? Or are there any other mothers facing the same issue I am? It would be nice to know I'm not the only mother having these problems...thanks!

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Asked by shadeslayer at 3:48 PM on May. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • That sucks about your "friends". The same thing kinda happened to me being that I had my first at 17. I had maybe one friend that also had a kid early and she ended up moving away. I think your daughter is just seeking attention and she knows that she gets it when she behaves bad. Ignore her tantrums believe me. About the potty training, I didn't have that issue with my kids so idk but do u have a mini potty she can take with her from room to room? Maybe you can announce that you are going potty and invite her to go. ? Good Luck sweetie just take a deep breath and walk away when you need to.

    Answer by justme782 at 3:58 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Have you talked with Her ped about this behavior? She probably does need the excersize of being outside, can you drive to a place that is safe for her? What games do you play inside? Can you sleep on her floor or on the couch where you will see her before she heads to the fridge? What type of discipline are you doing right now? Your landlord will have to get over it sadly. She sounds strong willed and curious and that WILL cause them to test every step of the way - Right now I would be searching for other areas or apartments to live in because shes' going to be a child for a while.. screaming happens with strong willed kids while learning discipline.. at least in my case.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:59 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Thank you :), and yeah we've bought her the small seat that fits on the toilet and a smaller one that sits on the ground. I'll definitely give it a shot....glad to know though that I'm not alone. thank you again

    Comment by shadeslayer (original poster) at 4:00 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • OH yeah about the potty, sometimes academically smarter kids take to potty training later, if you don't think its that and more of a behavioral issue, don't use pull ups. put her in panties and if she does pee or poop - make her clean it up - change herself and hand wash the floor and her panties... EVERYTIME. no matter the fit. You can't cave once with any form of discipline for her

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:00 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Its time to talk to the pediatrition.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:01 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • When potty training my daughter I put her in sundresses and panties she had a few accidents then figure it out I hid the diapers and pull UPS didn't work for us the friend thing that's bs then they wernt your friends :(

    Answer by rinamomof2 at 4:06 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Thank you maxsmom. We currently are in a battle with the Tenatns Right's Department with this landlord as there is a list of illegal things she is doing but they told us we wouldn't have full results for months. We do the normal activities I wake up and if she isn't already awake make breakfast, (if she is clean up messes) then color and do our ABC's and her intro to french. I let her have some free time with watercolor paints then while I make lunch, I'll put on wonderpets for a half hour while she eats lunch. Then that's when the trouble comes in, I'm still nursing her younger sister, and working on transitioning her from breast to bottle. It takes about an hour to get her down for her nap and in that time I'm trying to keep the baby laid down and keep her entertained. I get so frazzled i can't concentrate then it's all downhill from there :(

    Comment by shadeslayer (original poster) at 4:07 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • I have talked to the pediatrician he said he wanted to do some testing to try and narrow it down to maybe ADHD. Two weeks ago however her ped passed away drowning while on a vacation, so I'm on the search for a new one. I'm torn about that however because I've got both of the grandparents begging me not to take her in for it claiming, "there's no way they can tell for sure whether a child this young has adhd." and that "they just want to put her on pills." The dr, before her passed, zeroed in on this because he said with her having the constant need to climb on furniture and anything she can since 18 months is usually a good sign. (which I've never heard before) However, I think it might be a possibility. and thank you rina, it hurt for awhile, but i'm glad i found a site where I can connect with others who've been there.

    Comment by shadeslayer (original poster) at 4:12 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • I had four children with ADHD. None of what you describe sounds like what I experienced with my children. The potty training issues and the throwing of the milk on the floor and the screaming sounds more like oppositional defiance disorder.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 8:59 PM on May. 6, 2011

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