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Should i have of said no?

I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 years and he just proposed to me on March 2nd. I couldnt wait for the day. I thought this is what I wanted. Everything has been bothering me latly tho. Whenever I bring up getting married he changes the subject. He is always out with his friends riding his quad or fishing of whatever he may really be doing. I never get a minute to myself between my 10 month old and 2 year old daughters. He never watches the kids so I can even take a shower, I have to bring them in the bathroom with me. My kids are on such a bad scheduale because when he is home he always has people over all hours of the night and we live in a small 2 bedroom home. He has a weird work scheduale and I would love to put the girls in daycare and get a job and have my own money, but daycare for 2 is too expensive. Then theres the thought of nobody ever wanting to be with me because I have 2 children so I feel like I should just stick it out. I have no idea what to do!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on May. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • What would he say if you asked him to be home more and help with the kids more?
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 5:08 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • You two need to work on your relationship now before you get married. Talk to him and tell him what its bothering you.
    booger14

    Answer by booger14 at 5:11 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • hmmm dont get married yet till your ready. im in the same boat. we are engaged but i am reconsidering everything. im not sure he's the one for me :(
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 5:11 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • you had 2 children with a man that acts this way? I wouldn't marry him
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • He sounds like an Ass if yu ask me!
    MexTexmom2

    Answer by MexTexmom2 at 5:25 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Well, it's definitely a red flag when you start telling yourself that no one else will want to be with you, no one will ever treat you as good, etc. That right there tells me that you WANT to leave, and that you're already making excuses for why you should stay. You don't have to settle, and I have a feeling that what you've stated here is only a part of the problems in your relationship. I suggest sitting down and REALLY thinking about what you want and what you need to do. If you think you should leave, then you should. It's never a reason to stay just because you think you won't ever have another boyfriend(because you WILL- you just have to value yourself and love yourself). Good luck, Momma!
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 5:35 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Marriage isn't going to change him or his behavior. You need to decide if this is the way you want to live for the rest of your life. Are you getting anything good and positive out of this relationship? How is he showing his love for you and his children? Get a job, put your children in daycare, and move out. Once on your own you should qualify for some government help: food stamps, child care subsidy, and probably other stuff I know nothing about. Millions of us have done this and been unbelievably successful at it. Good Luck.

    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 5:45 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • why did you have children with him?
    zradiogirl

    Answer by zradiogirl at 10:27 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Red Flag!!! First off when he doesn't want to watch the children that should be a huge hint to you. He isn't ready to get married. Second of all when he is ignoring you on the marriage talk or planning a wedding another red flag should be up. He isnt ready to get married!!! You guys need to have a serious chat.
    ddsunshine

    Answer by ddsunshine at 2:57 PM on May. 7, 2011

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