Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

6 Bumps

6 yr old son is having issues and Cps was called.?


Okay No need to bash I swear Ive done nothing wrong..
My son was born with some kidney issues and ended up in the hospital when he was just a few days old with some major issues. He did everything late crawled walked potty trained.. u name it he did late. So in Kinder and from his doctor I had him evaluated. the results were... Hes normal there's nothing wrong.. Not a single thing. So this year in first grade he got a teacher who would write my son up.. all the time.. no kidding it was just about everyday. Yes, Ive noticed he had issues listening to me and talking back and ended up with discipline actions. Yes I spank my kids but its gotta pretty bad usually its a corner maybe reading a book or time out.. (which is laying in there bed with no tv music or anything) Well every time my son gets in trouble from the school he got punished.. Punished for what had happened and because hes coming home early and not being sick. Well He freaked out yesterday and told someone that I beat him with a spatula and that my husband beats him with his belt and that my husband said if he got in trouble again he was going to bleed everywhere. So Social services came as soon as the kids were picked up from school. Made me feel like a horrible mother Ugh.. I do not beat my children however I believe in a good spanking.
During this whole mess My son told the worker IM just going to snap my fingers... As if he wanted to get rid of her. So she told me I needed to get him help cause there's something wrong with him and that I should have done so already. I asked her if she wanted to read the reports from last year she told me NO. Ive tried every form of discipline I can think of Ive got 2 girls that don't have this issue.. My son does talk about crazy things and pretty graphic but Im usually around to tell him to knock it off. This time its gotten far and I cant seem to get any help. We have poor insurance from my husbands work and all the places Ive called today just seems to tell me do this do that,,,, He doesn't have friends cause they all say hes weird so he gets along with girls. Is this because his Bio dad was never around and I was a single mom forever? What do I do with a child that has a strong imagination.
I know for a fact my husband has never mistreated him in anyway. We are very strict parents when it comes to school and fun. Im just not sure where to go with this. In the mean time Cps keeps calling and checking on me to make sure Im finding him help. I don't know anyone in this town and Im to the point Im frustrated. Mental health department just seemed to give me the run around.. Advice please. I don't wanna lose my kids they are my world.. Ive gotta help them so we can put this behind us!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on May. 6, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (13)
  • Did you ask them to help you find help for him?
    VintageWife

    Answer by VintageWife at 11:01 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • I would put him in some sort of therapy. Maybe if he went to weekly therapy sessions to help his behavior they can get a better idea of why he acts out.
    kaylan010

    Answer by kaylan010 at 11:01 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • I asked the worker and she said she didnt know what she could do because we have private insurance if we were on state aid it would have been different. Ive been calling all morning to find a therapest and Ive gotten answering machines and a few that took my info and said would call back and a couple that said they didnt deal with our insurance.. I feel helpless!! =(
    I just wanna sit and cry my eyes out!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:04 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • I am a foster mother, and I can tell you that as long as you are making an effort and show an interest in seeing what resources are available to you, you have nothing to worry about. It sounds like the lady was a bit harsh by not wanting to see anything that you have tried. Documentation is usually like gold to them.

    The only thing I can really say is that when they call or visit next and ask you what you have done since their last visit, have an answer ready. You could even try working with the school counselor which is a free resource so you can show you are making an effort to find him some psychological help, and maybe take him in to his regular doctor for a check up where you can bring up his issue and hopefully get some sort of documentation out of it.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 11:12 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Try speaking to a supervisor at CPS - its sad but true that some of those workers took the job solely for the high pay rate and don't care at all about the families. Try doing a search for income based community health centers, a lot of them deal with children. Your son's doctor may also be able to refer a therapist. I've dealt with CPS before, once because my neighbors hated the noise from my brothers riding their ATVs - I own my property and it is legal to ride on private property with the owner's consent so the neighbors couldn't do anything about it so they called CPS and made up stories and another time my 6 year old daughter kept telling people I smack her in the head and that I ignore her and only do fun stuff with her little sister and brothers (we still have no idea why she made up the stories). The worker who came out told me it isn't illegal to spank your children and luckily she believed (continued)
    anon1986East

    Answer by anon1986East at 11:14 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • you could try to get state insurance as a secondary insurance.

    My son needs speech therapy and going the summer without it isnt going to be good ( he gets speech services at school). My insurance won't cover it unless it is from an injury or organic disease. My younger son's Early Intervention person told me to try to get state insurance as a secondary to help us out so we dont have to pay for all of it out of pocket.

    Personally that doesnt sound like a strong imagination to me, and it isnt necessarily anything that you did or didnt do, maybe he just needs someone to help him hear that voice that says " you shouldnt say that, or shouldnt think that.
    mommaoftwo

    Answer by mommaoftwo at 11:17 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • I went to his school and asked for help but because of funding she said they dont have one. They dont even have a nurse.
    I did make him an appt with his doctor. Im not giving up cause Im not in the wrong. I feel like what ever my actions are at the time are good. I never over do it. I use to count to 10 method before any actions so I am always calm. My house is in great shape and u can see in the play room and in their bedrooms they are taken care of well. I feel like Im getting no where and I need to find something.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:17 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • that I wasn't neglecting or abusing her or her siblings. Even without being on state aid social services may be able to help with finding a therapist for your son. I know its different from state to state but its worth a try. Is there any history of mental disorders in either side of the family? While I know a child his age won't get a diagnosis of having a mental disorder some children do start to show signs at an early age, some grow out of it and some end up struggling with it their whole lives. My main worry with my kids is that schizophrenia and chronic depression are in both my family and my DH's family. Good Luck and I hope you find help soon.
    anon1986East

    Answer by anon1986East at 11:18 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • I worked at an elementary as a school counselor, so bear with me . . . .

    There is some resistance in the school district to get involved with "services" because the district will have to pay for it. You son needs help, though. Go to the principal at the school and demand an evaulation with the school psychologist. They have one. If they will not agreee to it, call your district office and demand that they set one up.

    PM me if you need some more help.

    Hugs
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 11:54 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • Once you get an evaluation, a file should be opened with your regional center. They should approve some services.

    Make sure to tell the school that the social worker from CPS say that something is wrong with him and he needs help. Let them know that this is why, you believe, that he has been having difficulty at school.

    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 11:59 PM on May. 6, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN