Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you think you could be married/partners with someone who isn't as smart as you are?

My sister is college educated, and is one of those "common sense" geniuses. She is dating someone who wears velcro shoes...I suspect out of necessity.

I couldn't do it. To me, I wouldn't feel like equal partners. I do think that sometimes it is a control thing (i.e. securing the "alpha" role in the relationship), but I don't think I could personally do it.

I'm not trying to be rude or obnoxious, I really am curious what others think.

Answer Question

Asked by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 11:54 PM on May. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 37 (93,457 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • no, i need the challenge of a mind that can relate

    Answer by angevil53 at 11:56 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • No, I dated a guy that couldn't understand 2 syllable words and I went crazy!

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:58 PM on May. 6, 2011

  • I don't think I could be with someone way stupid. Although, (not to sound conceited) my husband isn't the sharpest tool in the shed (by no means dumb though) and we get along pretty well.

    Answer by hali23 at 12:04 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • I need someone who can understand what I am talking about. And basically someone who is in tou=ch with who or how I am, not just how many subjects he can discuss with me.

    Answer by SeasideNative at 12:05 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • My husband is scary smart, a genius in fact. I (and all of our children) am so grateful he doesn't feel the way you do. We have had a wonderful marriage for 20 years.  We will be those old people you see walking in the park.


    Answer by ochsamom at 12:06 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • I am with someone who isnt as smart as me but we share alot of common interests and even though I sometimes yell at him about his caveman responses in conversations, I still love him. Similar intelligence isnt the most important thing to some people. My man is a very devoted partner, and a WONDERFUL father to his daughters and to me that is way more important than an IQ score.

    Answer by SaturnsMom at 12:43 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • I once dated a guy who was MUCH more intelligent than I am and he was arrogant about it. Pompus I suppose. I ended it after a month. i couldn't stand the way he talked down to me just because I only had a High school education so far, and he had a high I.Q. and some college.
    However, my fiance is very intelligent, and I love the way he teaches me and laughs when I make silly mistakes. (But I have the upper hand in the kitchen and laundry and simple tricks to fixing things;)


    Answer by BlueMockingbird at 1:15 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • No. But I'm not defining smart as a certain level of schooling. To me it means being able to reason, imagine, and see multiple sides to things. Poor spelling or not being well-read isn't a deal breaker. Being uninterested in learning new things is.

    Answer by pampire at 1:44 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • i cant answer because not sure how you mean it?

    Answer by Sarah961 at 2:12 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • I'm with pampire - smart isn't based on how much education you have. My SO graduated high school, and barely did that, because he was bored. He is so off the charts intelligent that it's kind of annoying sometimes. lol

    Smart can be many things: the ability to do something your partner can't, an education, being well read with current events, being well read with books, watching shows about history or science or who knows what.

    Being with someone less intelligent than I am...well, my first husband was still reading the same book he started reading when we first got together when I left him 3 years later. I didn't leave him over that - I left him because he cheated and treated me badly.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:09 AM on May. 7, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.