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4 Bumps

Need some advice please :( adult content

Its long and so much going on, my husband lied to me. Got hired again in construction but with different company. So the other day calls me some minutes later than usual to tell me he is on his way home. Comes home tells me boss bought them bbq from this very good restaurant cause they finished early, I asked him if he went there to eat he said no boss took it to them. Today I saw on his bank account which I don't even check at all I just have my own cards from our two banks. Well he had that bbq place on the account for whatever money he spent. He got home today and I asked him calm if there was anything he wanted to tell me bout that place. He got an attitude and right away tries to turn it on me why I'm I even going through the account, if I had a bill to pay, always throws that at me cause I'm a stay at home mom and he says I don't do anything, it hurts me. I just told him why he always tells me there's no reason to lie to me why he lies to me over something stupid. He tells me I treat him like a kid that if he would've called me I would have told him how come I can't go but I told him its not about that I have begged him please that I don't want to be lied to that if he wants to do whatever he wants that ill give him the divorce but he says no there's no reason to lie to me. Well it hurts me everything he tells me, like I'm tired of seeing your face, that I don't do anything and have it easy, I been stuggling depression and haven't had no help I have low self esteem and I just cry and have lots of suicidal thoughts but he doesn't help me in any way. All he tells me is that he buys me whatever I want to make myself feel better that's why I have it easy according to him. He tells me to shut up that I don't have the right to speak or complain because I make no money or pay bills. Its what hurts me the most besides being told he's tired of seeing my face. He's just with me cause of our two boys. It hurts a lot and don't know what to do. Please help me in some way. And well don't have insurance yet. He sais he has feelings for me but he is tired of everything but I feel the same way but I feel love for him deep in me but most of the time I feel angry and hurt for everything he has told me that makes me not be there with him, show him my love I have for him or not even want to be sexual. I am thin last time I weight myself I was 104 hope I gain a bit more weight now. Please help me.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:12 AM on May. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Therapy. And if he refuses, leave him, take the kids with you and file for divorce. The lying about the BBQ place was one thing but now he's just verbally abusing you. And that is unacceptable. I know it may be hard but think of the example you're setting for your kids. If you stay, they're seeing that it's okay to treat a woman that way. I would also get therapy for just you to work on your depression. I've been there and it's not fun. :(


    hugs

    MamaStuart

    Answer by MamaStuart at 1:18 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • that is the stupidest thing to lie about but i can honestly say i have been in the same boat!!! we ended up going to counseling which helped an we learned to communicate better and other things!! we r now happier than we ever were i believe! we would both say very hurtful things when we r mad but we have learned not to do that just to cool off before we talk! i mean we still have our argument like every couple but nothing like they used to be!! n if u do counseling realize that it dnt change things overnight it can take a while to learn how to put everything to use!!!!!!
    Alyson_Torres09

    Answer by Alyson_Torres09 at 2:02 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • Sounds like hes the reason to all your problems. You deserve so much better sweetie. Im a sahm 2 and my husband is an electrician and his bosses are always taking him out 4 lunch and sometimes he pays but he knows that if we dont hve the money then thats that. I take care of all the finances along with r 2 babys and keeping up w the house and he actually thanks me 4 everything I do. He knows my job nvr ends and.respects me 4 it. Thats the kind of husband u deserve some1 who loves and appreciates u. Im so sry and I hope u find the help your needing and honestly it sounds like your husband needs a good a** whippen lol.
    LANDENSMOMMYlmk

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 2:10 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • The two of you need marital counseling. If he won't go, then you need a good divorce attorney and to go to therapy on your own (if you don't have insurance coverage, look for a sliding scale clinic in your area.) He's verbally abusing you and that will eventually turn physical.
    pampire

    Answer by pampire at 2:17 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • one day you are going to be ready to move on and when you do you will have you life back and you will be happy
    amparoortega

    Answer by amparoortega at 2:18 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • Hi my name is penny i am a 42 year old women with 4 beutiful amazing kids. And ive been married to my husband for 13 years and weve been tgorther for 32 yearsYOU GOT TO UNDERSTAND MEN WILL DO ANYTHING TO KEEP THERE CONTROL THEY WILL HAVE YOU FEELING SO LOW ABOUT YOURESSELF THAT YOU START TO BELIEVE THERE LINEOF BULL. wHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS START GETIING UP IN THE MORNING BEING JOYFUL AND AFTER HES GONE TO WORK GET YOURE SELF DRESSED UP JUST LIKE YOU DID BEFORE YOU HAD KIDS WHEN HE TELLS HIS LITTLE LIES DONT LET HIM KNOW IT BOTHERS YOU ,sTART CALLING SOME FRIENDS GO SHOPPING GO FOR WALKS JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE KIDS SWEETY DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOURE NOT BEUTIFUL YOU ARE PROBALY MORE BETUTIFUL THEN BEFORE DONT LAY DOWN AND GIVE UP ONE THING IVE LEARNED WHEN A MAN IS SCARED HES HAS A CHANCE OF ANOTHER MAN COMING ALONG TREATING YOU BETTER YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE HOW FAST THEY STRAIGHTEN UP.takeback control GOOD LUCK.
    mommysdream371

    Answer by mommysdream371 at 2:19 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • My heart goes out to all women who are and have been in an a busive relationship. How old are your children? Why don't you try getting a job a part time job. Tryi doing something for yourself. Have a talk with your husband and let him know that if what you do is not appreciated then you are going to do someting else. A job will distract you and maybe give you your confidence and self esteem back.
    xnegritalindax

    Answer by xnegritalindax at 8:47 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • I know how you feel my fiance does the same thing to me he puts me down because I don't have a job and I was way depressed when I met him but he helped me through that now it seems he gets a kick out of hurting me recently he got in trouble with the law cause he was yelling at me one night after he drank. He was court ordered not to drink anymore and he still does it so when I tell him about he lies and says he only had one but I know the difference between one and a few. I have been so sad and upset but im trying to stay calm and happy cause I don't know if i'm expecting but he is still an inconsiderate ass. I think the best thing you can do is go to therapy and if that doesn't work then get a divorce its not healthy for your kids to see that. I'm here to listen and talk if you need to.
    Unsurescared

    Answer by Unsurescared at 10:55 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • I stay at home, my husband works. We both understand that we have a balance in our lives. He works, brings home money, pays bills. He gives me that money, I buy food, I make him dinner, and do his laundry. If my husband EVER talked to me like that, or lied to me like that...I'd leave him so quick. I know it sucks because you have kids with this man, but I'd leave him. You don't need that kind of man, if you can call him a man for talking to you like that, in your life.
    monstersmommy20

    Answer by monstersmommy20 at 5:15 AM on May. 8, 2011

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