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Why did you choose?

I am just wondering what some of the reasons you chose adoption if chose to place your child for adoption?

I have very seriously been considering adoption with this pregnancy.

How did you "deal" with the emotions that went along with your decision? Does it get any easier as time goes on?

Answer Question
 
MommyNMay

Asked by MommyNMay at 8:32 AM on May. 7, 2011 in Adoption

Level 11 (549 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • why are considering adoption, if you don't mind me asking...
    mkdirector2011

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 9:19 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • Remember the father has rights too, if he won't agree to it then the adoption won't happen.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:32 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • I know he does. And I'm already working on all that with him and the lady I have been talking to. He denies the baby anyway and doesn't care about anything that's gone on. He told me to get an abortion!

    Anyway just considering adoption because I am a single woman. I already have one child who just turned 3. I feel like this child may be better off with another family because they may be able to provide for her better than I can. It's hard being a single mom of one, and two would be harder. I'm not saying that I don't think I could do it, I probably could. But I feel like neither of my children should have to suffer and struggle. I feel like it wouldn't be fair to either child if they had struggle and suffer because I don't have enough to provide for them. I don't have my own place, currently no car (thanks to the ex completely destroying it). It's hard now, and I don't want my kids to feel like I am not doing enough.
    MommyNMay

    Comment by MommyNMay (original poster) at 11:33 AM on May. 7, 2011

  • For me, it was my first, and I just knew I wouldn't be able to be a single parent. I knew I'd have no financial help, I knew I never wanted my baby to have to see "him", etc. It was an easy decision for me. But I had months of counseling, great people to talk to, etc. I have never regretted my decision. She's 11, I've married and had more kids, it's an open adoption so I get to see her a few times a year.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • Why did I choose? Well it was 1 of 2 choices; Either sign the papers or lose all 3 of my sons( twins relinquished) along with my 6 yr old. It was done by an agency that had been ordered to cease all adoptions because of unethical practice. The AG had stated that this agency was nothing less that black market baby brokering. So see, not a choice! BLESSINGS ,CJ
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 3:37 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • Because I believed all the myths; that I'd move on and get over it, that the pain would get easier, and that my baby was a blank slate and would be better off. All untruths. 23 years later I haven't got over, the pain is worse than ever and my son is riddled with adoption issues, or as I prefer to call them relinquishment issues. Your baby is better off with you.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 8:03 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • Why? Because I was STUPID at the time I guess. STUPID with the idea somebody else could be a better mom then me to my own child. STUPID to think my other kids wouldn't miss their sibling.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • mommnynmay said: I don't have my own place, currently no car (thanks to the ex completely destroying it). It's hard now,


    respectfully responding that getting rid of child #2 will not fix the above circumstances.  They'll still be with you, you'll just be a mom missing and without one of her children. 


     And this may sound harsh...I mean no harm, but just want you to consider from an adoptee that has both older and younger siblings kept by my Mother....if its hard now- why are you keeping the 3yo to suffer along with you now?  Why save ONLY the baby from struggling in a life with you? 


     

    adopteeme

    Answer by adopteeme at 6:52 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • I am not a birthmom and I cannot give you any advise. I am wishing you the best, though. Good luck with everything.hugs

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:08 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • Adopteeme- I guess people are misunderstanding here. You are one of them. I have the means to support me and one child, my 3 year old. And having one less child won't change me not having my own place or a car. That's not the only issues here. Sometimes it is hard being a single mom and sometimes you yourself go with out as it should be. But I never once said that it was so hard that I can't do it. I just know that if I have two children it's going to be even harder. More of a struggle. I want the BEST for BOTH my children. And if placing the one for adoption is the best choice then I will do that.
    You must feel as though you were gotten rid of to have said it to me about this child I am considering placing. I in no way shape or form see it as GETTING RID OF the child. I'm not throwing her way, I am trying to give her the best life that she can have. If that makes me a bad person in some peoples eyes, so be it!
    MommyNMay

    Comment by MommyNMay (original poster) at 5:50 PM on May. 8, 2011

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