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2 Bumps

Should I get myself involved?

My sister is being such a brat! She is getting married in less than 2 months... and so far she has been acting so immature, lazy, irresponsible and disrespectful...mainly towards our mother.When my sisters fiance came home from Afghanistan (she knew him 2 weeks before he left) she left my moms house, and all her stuff behind...and has not been back since. She did not invite anyone, except my step-mom to get her wedding dress with her. My moms feelings were very much hurt, as she was wanting to be involved in that part. My sister has completely shut my mom out... and my mom has planned the entire wedding thus far. She has hand made all the decorations, and my sister would not help. My mom made all of the 200 invitations (I helped!!), and my sister did not help. A few days ago, my sister told my mom that my mothers lifelong friend, a woman who we have grown up with as a second mom basically and her kids are like siblings to us, is not allowed to come to the wedding bc Ty cheated on her fiance with the womans son many many months ago!! Originally, she was supposed to marry them to! At this point, my mom became furious with my sister, told her that the boy will not even be in the state during the wedding, and their mistake has nothing to do with HER and the other family members! My mom told her that she needs to grow up, be more respectful etc. Well, now my sister refuses to talk to my mom. It is so sad. I can tell my mom is so sad. She has tried to call my sister etc... I feel like I need to say something to my sister, not today...its her bridal shower. My mom is going, but sister still hasn't talked to her. But really, at some point someone needs to tell her how her behavior is affecting our mom...but Im not sure if I would be out of place trying to talk to her about this. Any advice would help, thank you!

 
Tarrar

Asked by Tarrar at 2:46 PM on May. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 22 (13,733 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I think its between your mom and your sister. Your sister is a grown woman with her own relationship with your mom that your mom chooses to put up with for whatever reason.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:54 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • I would say something to her but in a nice way or however you want. I get in fights with my siblings when they are doing wrong with the family. If there mature enough after you say something give it a few days and maybe they'll apologize.
    megclark22

    Answer by megclark22 at 4:14 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • HI I CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT YOURE MOM IS GOING THREW MY DAUGHTER AND AT THE TIME BOYFREIND STAYED WITH MY HUSBAND AND I FOR OVER A YEAR WE SUPPUROTED THEM NOTH NEITHER ONE HAD JOBS AND SLEPT ALL THE TIME.. mY YOUNGER DAUGHTER CAME HOME AND SAW THE WAY HER SISTER WAS TREATING HER DAD AND I AND SHE LET HER HAVE IT SHE WAS GOOOD FOR AWHILE WE FOUND SHE WAS PREGNET WITH MY FIRST GRANDCHILD AND ONE WEEK BEFORE SHE HAD HIM SHE MOVED IN WITH HER NOW HUSBANDS PARENTS AND I DID NIT SEE MY FIST GRANDCHILD BORN AND MY MY FIRST DAUGHTER GER MARRIED. so yes please talk to youre sister try and make her see this is youre moms baby and how aould she feel god forbid her child grew up and treated her the same way youre babys are always youre babys no matter how old they are, And moms likee us would give are very own life to save are babys life. YOURE SISTER IS SUPPOSED TO BE A WOMAN GETTING MARRIED SHE NEEDS TO BE A WOMAN NOT A SPOILED LITTLE KID
    mommysdream371

    Answer by mommysdream371 at 3:38 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • 'My sister hasn't done anything to plan her wedding though. Not one thing. She picked out the colors, the invitations, how she wanted the decorations, the invitations and who would be her bridesmaids (all us sisters).'

    you just said it yourself, she's making decisions, that is part of planning the wedding.
    why is she stressed? because she is getting married. they say that's right up there with going to jail.

    what gets my attention is that you're asking her what she wants and she says she doesn't care?
    sounds like me when I was engage the first time when I was around 21. I didn't care about any of it. Then my best guy pal pointed out that I never once said I was happy about getting married.
    he was right, I wasn't and called off the wedding.
    maybe your sister doesn't want this wedding for one reason or another!

    if you want to talk to sis, then ask her if she's OK, don't get involved in the other stuff. It won't help.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 3:56 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • ur sister shouldnt complain to much..at least she has family helpin her out...i didnt get that chance bc it was a last minute thing and my father didnt even have the chance to walk me dwn the aisle and give me away...but this time its goin to be different bc i asked my fiance a favor...i told him i want him to ask my father for my hand in marriage
    Ksmomma30

    Answer by Ksmomma30 at 6:00 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • I wouldn't even go to her shower the way she has been acting. Holy bat mobile. I would tell her how I feel, and leave it at that. I wouldn't even go to the wedding with what you say here. You just don't treat people that way.

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 2:57 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • That's not just a woman treating another like garbage, that is your sister treating your mom like crap. Frankly, at this point, I wouldn't care if she uninvited me, I'd sure enough stand up for my mom and take Miss Priss down a peg or two. I wouldn't want to show any kind of support to someone that acted that way to a person I loved. Let alone my own sister. Ugh!
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 3:00 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • I say stay out of it and stay out of it good!
    she's getting married in two months, she's probably not thinking straight to say the least. I laugh when I think of some of the things I did while planning my wedding.

    I'm sorry your mom is hurt, but she blew up at your sister any maybe her staying away from your mom right now is the best thing. less chance to fight I guess.

    you sister probably has better things to do than make the decoration, my sister said the same thing during my wedding. She said she'd make them, I went with her to buy the stuff then she got mad when I rested while she made them. I was under doctors orders to do so!
    I don't blame your sister for only taking one person to pick out the wedding dress, too many opinions ruin the experience. it's her choice who goes to help her.

    if you stay out of it, then in a few years it will all be a distant memory. but if you butt in, your sister will remember!
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 3:07 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • I once told my sister that she was no longer my sister until she apologized to my parents.

    I see no problem taking a stand for a family member who is being treated poorly by another member. But be prepared to not talk to your sister for a LONG time if you do!
    GoodyBrook

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 3:09 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • if you want to support your mom, take her out to lunch and listen to what she has to say.
    but if you pick a fight with your sister, you will probably be setting the stage for problems for years to come!

    it's not going to do anyone any good to get into it with your sister, and IMO I think your mother should encourage you to stay out of it.

    who the heck was nice and sweet when they were a bride? they don't get enough sleep and everyone is trying to tell them what to do! There's always someone that is mad about something.
    On top of that, often they are usually on a diet.
    Just remind yourself and your mom, that this too will pass.
    and if your mom has the idea to not go to the wedding, please encourage her to go! my FIL boycotted the wedding because he didn't like that we didn't do paper invites. hey, we decided to 'go green' early! If mom doesn't cool down, she'll regret it later!
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 3:15 PM on May. 7, 2011

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