idk if i need a pep talk or advice or just to vent but i feel like total crap today.
i feel like i fail at everything i try like, i fail at loosing weight i fail at trying to look nice. i always try so hard to look good but it never works out. idk if this is hormones from PMS or if its just bi polar or i have no idea how to feel like about anything.
idk how to listne to my feelings because i dont trust myself. i always feel like my feelings are TOO positive because im manic or TOO negative because im depressed idk how to just have normal instincts.
i feel like i cant do anything right and i feel like a shitty mom because i let my mom tell me what to do and how to do it all the time because its easier than trying to fight her for contorl ( i live with her) and she is a massive control freak and if she wants something her way its her way or she will verbally abuse you. she can be so mean its really not worth it for most things to fight her.
i want to move out but i dont have money. i have a job but they dont put me on the schedule, ive been trying to get a job but i hvaen't even gotten an interview for anything in the past three months sinc ei started looking.
and even if i had the money or resources to move out idk how to mvoe out. without her support, she will bully me about it she says things like i'm going to "rip the boys away from her" and she implys that this is the most stabel place for them idk what she means by that because i dont lead an unstable lifestyle im two years from being done with college, i dont have a ton of friends so its not like i party at all. and she isn't refering to my bi polar because 1. she doesn't beelieve i am bi polar and 2. its not very severe. i have moments like today whre i feel down but i know in a few days il feel better i guess and she is up and down too so she isn't refering to this at all. she is just mean and doesn't want me to be in control of anything.
if i tried to move out she would freak out and it would turn into a massive fight. i feel like i would have to take what i could grab and leave and she would probably call the cops on me for leaving with MY OWN KIDS. idk but thats how she is
i just dont knwo what to do.
Answer by admckenzie at 5:41 PM on May. 7, 2011
Answer by GoodyBrook at 3:20 PM on May. 7, 2011
Answer by dreamangel06 at 4:24 PM on May. 7, 2011