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How do i get my 3 year old to behave in public without having an all out war with him?

whenever we go somewhere he always wants a toy. when i tell him no he throws massive fits and i end up giving in to stop the people from staring and giving looks..how do i stop this

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Kimberly1219

Asked by Kimberly1219 at 6:03 PM on May. 7, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Stop giving in. Let them look. You must be consistent. If you give in every time he's simply going to continue throwing tantrums to get his way. When he throws a tantrum NO toys, No junk food. No more playing for the rest of the day. If he can't behave he doesn't get extras.
    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 6:04 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • thanks...im going to have to. i have to learn to be in control not the other way around
    Kimberly1219

    Comment by Kimberly1219 (original poster) at 6:08 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • Stop giving in. When he sees that throwing a fit gets him a toy he's not going to stop. Let him throw his fit and if he won't stop, remove him from the store and let him know when he acts that way he doesn't get rewarded. Good luck (c:
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 6:08 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • I have a child with autism. I get stared at a lot when he meltsdown in public. i don't care. They are the rude ones, not me. I usually tell them as much.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:09 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • Stop giving in. When you say no mean no. Let the other people stare of just leave your asket and take your child to the car and go home without a toy. After a couple of times the behavior should start to change.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 6:22 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • It sounds like you're afraid of what people may think, say or do; if so, your child is not your priority and may feel as such, so he's learned, if I embarrass mom enough, "I Win!" If you're in public, take the child out to the car and wait for the tantrum to be over, and if he persists, "Take Him Home" where you can mete-out the usual punishment you use. Another method is called the "Love Hold." We had to use it on a couple of children in the preschool I worked in. It doesn't hurt them and keeps them from hurting themselves or you! I would do this in the car or somewhere it's just you & him. Sit down on a seat & put him on your lap catching both legs between yours, then hold him very close and only hold his hands if he makes it a Battle. While holding him, softly comfort him & when he is rational explain why you are holding him so, that you Love him are keeping him safe. Only let him go when he's totally cooperating.
    turtldov

    Answer by turtldov at 6:24 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • Um well that is the reason for all of this YOU GIVE IN so DONT. Simply ignore those who stare & dont care of their opinion. My general rule is if my daughter is pitching a horrible fit we walk out of the store & leave or cool down. Now if she is having a fit its not the absolute worse she can have & I have to grab some things such as milk etc (we live 40 mins from any town/city) then I will get done what I have to as quickly as I can but I dont give in period.
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 6:30 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • say no and stick to it. only reward for GOOD behavior not to get them to shut up.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 6:31 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • are you serious? He throws a fit, you give in. that's why he does it. You may be getting the looks because people don't think you should give in.

    if he wants to throw a fit, let him do so. If you have to take him out of the store, put him in a cart and push him out of the store.

    I'm sure it's not he first fit that's been thrown in a store.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:49 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • MY MOTHER ONCE SAID.
    DO THE BEST YOU CAN WHEN YOU ARE OUT.
    DICIPLINE AT HOME.
    THE HELP AT HOME WILL START TO FILTER HELP WHEN YOU ARE OUT.
    IT'S A PHASE.
    EVEN IT IT FELLS HORRBLE WILE YOU ARE OUT.
    90% OF THE TIME PEOPLE AREN'T LOOKING AT THE CHILD.
    THEY ARE WATCHING THE PARENTS.
    PATIENCE AS PARENTS IS MOST IMPORTIANT.
    THIS STAGE WON'T BE THE HARDEST YOU GO THROUGH AS A PARENT.
    GOOD LUCK
    TRACY1977

    Answer by TRACY1977 at 8:23 PM on May. 7, 2011

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