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3 Bumps

Are you faking your happy marriage!?

For the first time in the 10+ years I've known my close friend I am finally fed up and irritated with it. In person, she hates her husband and they both have affairs! The guy even sends me emails and messages and leaves comments on my fb page telling me how beautiful I am and I ignore it so I don't start sh*t with her! She even told me he wanted me once but if I tell her I am aware or it bother me, she gets mad! And it's not just me. She knows he sleeps around and she sleeps around ALL the time. And it was whatever not a big deal but now every damn day her fb statuses are about how she's so in-love, she adores her hubby, can't live without him, blah blah blah. But as soon as I see her in person she's the complete opposite. WTF!!?? Maybe I should just cut ties and leave her alone but then I feel like that's over reacting. I don't know what to do :/

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:08 PM on May. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • It's usually the ones that are trying too hard to show people how great their life is, that are really the ones with the screwed up relationships lol
    BeachyBabe

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 8:10 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • My best friend knows my situation and it is nothing like this. I fake my marriage around other people and i now refrain from putting personal crap on facebook but on the outside I make everything look good but on the inside I am preparing to leave.
    jujubean1979200

    Answer by jujubean1979200 at 8:11 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • I'd unfriend him on FB for starters. If she's a close friend, I wouldn't bail on her. I would ask if she wants to talk about why she stays in what is obvious, from her comments, an unhappy marriage.
    pampire

    Answer by pampire at 8:15 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • Annoying isn't it. Fake people always are. This person I know has been married for 30 years to a man she has nothing in common with and who is...how can I put this nicely.... ummm simple minded. She is kind of smart and likes to be active and involved in stuff... he likes to watch tv , football and sleep. She's expressed to me on many occasions how unhappy she is with him...and even that she doesn't love him like she should. He never pays attention to her... and frankly I don't think he is intelligent enough to be stimulating in the way she desires.So she is always sick or in pain or has some medical issue the doctors are bewildered by. She has all kinds of test...and it always comes back that nothing is wrong. On FB she's always asking for healing prayer. People send her love. She's substituting attention for illness for the love she desires from her husband. She also claims to be very in love with him in her status.
    CallMeAngie

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 8:18 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • If I unfriend him then she gets pissed/panics. I learned years ago I need to keep my mouth shut about it and act like nothing. It's so weird. He can say "I really love this picture of you without makeup. You're so beautiful!" but if I I tell her she gets mad at ME. She has told me to just hush about it. She doesn't want all of our friends to know there's anything odd or that I am uncomfortable with him.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:20 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • In my opinion, posts like that on facebook mean someone is trying to make people think they are happy and in a good relationship. My aunt does the same thing, and her husband cheats on her constantly.
    other_mother

    Answer by other_mother at 8:28 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • I would not be friends with her. You should probably ask yourself what this friendship does for you, do a pros and cons list!
    SeasideNative

    Answer by SeasideNative at 8:30 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • I don't want to just abandon her. Before she started doing this on fb, I was well aware that she was miserable but would stay married. I was and am fine with that because it's her choice! But now several times a day every day I see these headlines that are so cute and happy and wonderful but I know it's just not true at all. It's getting on my nerves. I don't expect her to get divorced or even tell everyone the truth, but THIS is just too much.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:41 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • I would say that if you feel like this friendship benefits you more than it reads above then conitnue being friends with her. But do a pros and cons list. And be honest when you wriote that list.
    SeasideNative

    Answer by SeasideNative at 8:49 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • I would unfriend him, who needs that creepiness in their lives. If she balks and complains about why you did it, tell her the truth- your tired of his veiled hints and come-on's! If she gets mad at you, what kind of a friend is she to you really? What I am saying is don't let them put you in this situation. You're clearly uncomfortable. I would be too! He's looking for some bootie, and he's trying to get you to go along. She knows what he is, and what he's doing but she is all wrapped up in trying to make everyone think otherwise though I am sure they all really know the truth. They are both living a lie, neither one of them is happy in their relationship. The sad part is that you're forced to be in the middle of it because you are a good person. Don't let them drag you down to their immature, deceitful level.
    pinwheel

    Answer by pinwheel at 9:50 PM on May. 7, 2011

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