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3 Bumps

I don't feel Symphaty for his person!! Is that bad?

My husband mother has always been very selfish, She always talked using profanity to her three children all their life, she always treated other people around her better that her own family. When I met my husband I noticed he had an "UNUSUAL" family. But for some reason i was drawn to her son; I guess I felt sorry for him. Anyway I know myself to be a fair person and I always step back to see the big picture and I was never comfortable with what I saw within her personality. Here are a couple of comments that came out of her mouth about the time I met her.

1. I was visiting, she was cooking cheeseburgers her husband got home from work and said; I don't want Onions on my burger, don't put any in there.
He just nodded his heard. She slapped the onions on there.
2. I'm Mexican. She said to her son while I was just steps away; "Why don't you find yourself a white girl!" UUUHHH WE WERE ALREADY MARRIED!!!
3. At family functions as I tried to mingle with her family she butted in and tried to take away the attention I was getting. If I was talking recipes with someone she would bring up a recipe I let her in on and say that she created it.4. At a family party she snapped at me in front of my family about putting some stupid chilly dip in the oven she had made with the foil on!5. She tried to control our relationship from a few miles away, could not find it in herself to butt out! These few things now may sound petty but it gets worse! 6. My husband’s mother died and left a will where she stated that after the sale of her house her 2 son's would split the money and 33% percent would go to each grandson (3). She also verbally stated to my exactly what WAS in the will. Grandma also confided in me that she did not want "ANN" in control of the will and she was afraid her son would leave it to her to control it and guess what?? Grandma was right!!! I went to visit my in-laws’ and my father in-law showed me the will without thinking and of course I paged through it and saw what grandma had stated to me!! My husband and his brothers waited for the will to be read and NOTHING!!
it never happened!! The only thing they would say was, a) "yes we will be giving you some money!"b). "The will is in "TRUST" C)."Jonny I am gonna give you the money but I don't want you to pay off your bill!" The list went on and on until the subject was left alone. His parents moved away to different state and took ALL of the $650,000 with them, along with the Uncle which had NO control of his money either. They Build him a trailer in their 5 acre land and stuffed his freezer and refrigerator with food, Knowing that he was an alcoholic and not able to cook for himself. But they made sure he had his Beer and cigarettes at all times which is the only thing he ate! After three years he died! We went to his wake and guess what?? Little ol me was in the kitchen with them talking; "ANN! SEE I told you we should have BUOGHT the life Insurance!!" ANN: "WHY TOM?? WE ALEADY HAVE ALL THE MONEY!!"ME: [sigh]" MY mouth dropped!! I felt so disgusted!! I had no words! I just put my head down and walked out! How could two people be so cold?? Especially one being a brother!7. When we lived away from them she never acknowledged me, it was always she only had her son and my daughter in mind for birthday's and special occasions! "WHO AM I?" I did take part in giving a granddaughter!! He didn't have her on her own!8. We moved to the same town and she NEVER wanted to baby sit or have my daughter alone with her in the house because it was an inconvenience. IF I asked if she would baby sit, she would ask, "for how long?" "When are you coming back?" "How long does that take?" I didn't feel a grandma should be asking those questions! Before any other response! So I never asked anymore! 9. We needed her to pick up our daughter so she could take her to her Karate class, her response, "are you gonna give me gas money!"8. For 38 years every single day! she yelled everything at her husband with in every sentence having the words, "Mother F**ker"; SON OF A *****; "F***ken Baste**";"SHUT UP!" "NO!!YOU CAN"T GO OUT!" "I'm NOT GIVING YOU ANY MONEY!" (because she was always in control of all the money he made) There is TON"S MORE to this story but I'm running out of room! She ended up getting cancer and her attitude towards her husband escalated, so enough is enough right so much some people could take, he found himself another woman and she turned into the devil if she wasn't already! They did it to each other back and forth; him openly talking to his girlfriend in front of her, she demoralizing him in front of people with harsh language constant arguing! Until she attempts to set him on fire! By this time she had been cleared of cancer. He posted an order of protection against her, All she says is "I miss my house, my bed! I still love him!” I have NO sympathy for her. Is it wrong for me to feel like I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on May. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • tsk tskwhoosh!!!!!! that was long. to answer your question; no i would not have any sympathy for her. i am the type of person that holds a grudge so from the very moment she had told her son to get a white woman... i would have nothing whatsoever to do with her. i would not visit her house, i would not say a single word to that old battle axe.


    Answer by gwen20 at 11:34 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • Nope, no reason to feel sympathy. I wouldn't. She brought it on herself.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:34 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • Wow! is all I can think of.

    Answer by coala at 11:35 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • In short, no, it's not wrong of you. Sorry you have to deal with her, I would stay as far away from her as possible. Good luck (c:

    Answer by scout_mom at 11:35 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • hmmm.... I understand you are angry, it is a normal human feeling but you also need to forgive because all this anger is just going to hurt you! Try to be supportive, she is alone and scared I'm sure. GL and I'm sorry you are feeling this way

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 11:36 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • Onother thing Now that my Mother in-law was banned from her house her husband practicaly mooved in his girlfriend! This is the worse punishment for her to not be able to live in her house and knowing that there is another woman sleeping IN HER BED with her Husband! I don't belive anything she say's she makes up her story as she goes along. She tried having his family and me, her son try to talk to him about having her come home and she say's that She won't kill him! lol but I don't believe any word that comes out of her mouth! I saw her walk in the house without trying to help him when he was having chest pains yelling for medicine with NO response in return! she said to me MANY times! "I HOPE HE DIES!!" Day's after she attempted to set him on fire she said, "I wasn't trying to kill him I was just trying to scare him!" She was trying to kill him because she took the dog out first than she set the fire with him in the house!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:39 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • Honestly, I wouldn't have any sympathy for her. I wouldn't want anything to do with her. Have you ever talked to him about how his mother is? About how she makes you feel, and what she says? I wouldn't pay for her ticket to come see him either. I know that may sound harsh but she doesn't deserve anything you might do for her.

    Answer by clumm at 11:44 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • June Moma09, I know what you mean,I tried to forgive her MANY times! and she disappointed me many ALL of the times! I feel I need to confess myself to a priest! because of the way i feel maybe he will help me find a way to forgive her.


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:46 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • I totally understand, I'm still working on forgiving my ex, he was abusive too.... it's hard :(
    But I would never want to see anyone die alone. But you do whatever you feel is right! GL I think talking about it will definately help!

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 11:50 PM on May. 7, 2011

  • Clum yes I tell my husband everything, he understands how I feel. He actually just walked in and wanted to be nosey on whatI was typing about.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:50 PM on May. 7, 2011

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