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2 Bumps

What do you do with "fair weather" friends?

I have had this so called friend for 25 yrs now and are best times are based on when she wants them....like I can call her and leave messages or email her or send her facebook messages and she does not reply ... then she does come around and is super nice and gives me all the updates and it's back to normal but then I reach out to her and she blows me off.
She does not understand friendships are 2 sided not one sided
at this point I wonder if I should just give up and call it quits.

Answer Question
 
alotleft2do

Asked by alotleft2do at 12:10 AM on May. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,609 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • yes..u should let it go. who does she think she is ?
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 12:14 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • Give up. It's not worth the effort if you're not getting anything in return...
    GoodyBrook

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 12:18 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • Your truly are a good friend after 25 years of being treated as such . I do understand where you are coming from. I have a friend although I've not known her as long as you have your friend it's all about her world. It is very frustrating at times. But then there are moments that she is truly a good friend... Perhaps you can express to her how she makes you feel.. Just hang in there...
    Mystic0ne

    Answer by Mystic0ne at 12:19 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • Let her go. You need someone you can depend on as a friend. Even co-workers and acquaintances are more receptive than that.
    catsmom1993

    Answer by catsmom1993 at 12:20 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • Girl, I've had SO many friends like this. I put up with one for years. I had to end up ending up a 13 yr friendship because of her inconsiderate actions. It will happen when its time. You will eventually get totally fed up & leave her be even when she contacts you. good Luck, Hun.
    loudnproud87

    Answer by loudnproud87 at 12:20 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • in the last 4 days I have messaged her on Facebook in a email type and a "chat" type way ...when I clearly see that she is online...yet she does not answer
    alotleft2do

    Comment by alotleft2do (original poster) at 12:21 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • I can soooo relate - I have a "friend" just like your fair weather friend. We used to be very close. She was a doula for both of my kids' births. She behaves exactly like your friend.

    I am fed up with her. I've concluded she has some kind of anxiety problem. At one point, I wrote her a letter breaking off the friendship, but I did not send it. I think I've hardened my heart at this point and I just don't care any more. She drops in about once a year. I don't allow her to put me out (i.e., no more invitations to our place). From my perspective, the relationship will not be healed unless she owns her behavior and apologizes to me.
    RobotLady

    Answer by RobotLady at 12:44 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • Control. She wants ot control the flow of the relationship. So, if that is understood and acceptable to you, fine. You play it her way. If it's not ok with you, then you can live your life and let her in when it suits YOU....
    ferrellmt

    Answer by ferrellmt at 2:26 AM on May. 8, 2011

  • Pay her with the same coin and then leave her happy mothers day in her anwser machine . Use her for your conviniencie if she is a long good friend.
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 8:26 AM on May. 8, 2011

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